eatoxis: Brandy

Showing posts with label Brandy. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Toy Update - Due To Popular Demand

I love you guys. When you're not rubbishing my love for faceless dance music or hating on my faves, you're spamming my inbox with breathless demands for more Toy Toy. Your wish is my command. I've actually been toying around (pun intended) with the idea of doing a "No Relations" retrospective for months now but I thought I'd tide you over with a quick update on the legendary icon's latest antics. Basically, the high priestess of pop has been giving a master class in publicity whoring. Her first appearance at a shopping mall almost caused a riot. Thousands of ~~Cali Swag fans~~ Toy Soldiers turned out to see our goddess hawk milkshakes with hip hop band Cali Swag District. They apparently have a hit song at the moment (who knew) called "Teach Me How To Dougie" and they kindly taught Toy Toy the dance moves in return for some career advice. No, seriously. The proof is below! After single-handedly plotting Cali Swag's journey to the top of the charts, La Toya hit up a fashion show at Macy's and wowed the paparazzi with her timeless poise and beauty. This is my favourite snap. Poor Brandy. She looks like a withered, old crack whore in comparison to the glorious siren next to her. As her duet partner Monica once sang - don't take it personal. It's just one of dem days!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Brandy's Forgotten Gem

Brandy is one of my favourite 90s has beens. Don't get me wrong. She's no Monica or Tamia but songs like "I Wanna Be Down", "Baby" and "Have You Ever?" are guilty pleasures that I still occasionally dig out. Since her late 90s hey day, the diva's output has been fairly hit and miss. 2004's "Afrodisiac" was as shit as the title suggests but I thought 2008's "Human" was a stunning return to form. Unfortunately, no one else agreed and the album became the biggest flop of Brandy's career. It's a pity because the underrated opus houses at least one minor pop masterpiece. Written and produced by Bruno Mars and Darkchild, "Long Distance" is the kind of overwrought (in a good way) ballad that makes me want to listen to early Mariah and air grab for Australia. However, as much as I love the album version, my true allegiance lies with the brilliant Jody Den Broeder remix. This is one of those rare ballads that translates seamlessly into a dance anthem without losing the sentiment that made it special in the first place. "Long Distance" still packs an emotional punch and the lyrics get me every time. I just prefer to be sad to the sound of heavy house beats! File this under 'songs that should have been massive'.