Toni Braxton Vs Dulta

This week saw the release of Toni Braxton's 6th studio album "Pulse". And to my great surprise - given the dubious singles - it's a rather lovely return to form. I'll get around to reviewing it eventually but I can no longer restrain myself from commenting on her potentially career ending decision to cover a Delta Goodrem track. Seriously, was the Pia Zadora back catalogue too expensive? Admittedly, "Woman" isn't the worst song Dulta has ever recorded - probably because she didn't write it. Which means there are no bad metaphors or "inspirational" lyrics about overcoming obstacles in order to live your dreams. In fact, it's quite pretty but I still think the track should be gathering dust on 2007's biggest international flop. Toni's reputation has been tarnished by association. I guess it's not her fault. A superstar of her stature can't be expected to know every Z grade vocalist in the music industry but it is embarrassing and raises the question of who did it better.

If it took you longer than five seconds to shout TONI BRAXTON then click on the little red cross on the top of the page and fuck off. There hasn't been a debate this redundant since the time that sad Janatic otherwise known as The Prophet had the nerve to maintain that La Toya isn't the most talented Jackson. Whatever! Toni has this in a first round KO. First of all, she can actually sing. That gloriously deep voice is a thing of beauty and her pipes are still smoother than Kylie's forehead. The less glamorous Braxton injects "Woman" with some much needed soul and emotion. Dulta's decade of after school singing lessons can't compete against raw natural talent. Then there's the fact that the lyrics actually suit a lady of a certain vintage. I know it's hard to believe that Toni is a day over 25 given her flawless complexion and endless sex appeal but she's almost twice Dulta's age and that brings a certain gravitas to the proceedings. I believe her pain. She has decades of failed relationships to draw from. Last but not least is the production. Toni's version is slick yet soulful. The original, by comparison, sounds like it was recorded on the lap top Dulta bought for half price at Bing Lee's last clearance sale. We have a winner!

Listen to Toni's stunning rendition HERE

Check out Dulta's aural turd HERE

If you're stone deaf or just deluded, here are 5 more irrefutable reasons why Toni Braxton is better than Dulta:

1. Toni only sounds like she has a dick in her mouth when she sings.
2. Ms Braxton has never been penetrated by Brian McFadden. To my knowledge.
3. She is related to this heavenly goddess:

For more info on angelic Tamar read this post

4. The diva managed to sell more than 40 million albums and still go bankrupt.
5. Toni has had at least one less nose job than Dulta. Proof below.

THE END