La Toya's Stunning Triumph!

I've received a lot of hurtful emails this week accusing me of rudely ignoring the most significant musical moment of 2010. Rest assured, Toy Soldiers. La Toya's stunning triumph in Moscow did not go unnoticed. I was simply too overwhelmed by the magnitude of the occasion to write anything sensible. Our goddess finally had her moment in the sun and proved once and for all that she is the most beautiful and talented Jackson. In case you've been hiding under a rock or are just a sad, delusional Janatic - Toy Toy rocked the Muz-TV Awards show in Russia with an incredible rendition of Michael Jackson's "Earth Song". She was assisted by a couple of my favourite Eastern European pop stars (Dima Bilan, Sergey Lazarov etc) but there's no denying who the star of the show was. La Toya's otherworldly glamour and pitch perfect vocals had the crowd entranced from the second she took the stage wearing some of Michael's old pyjamas. There have been some libellous accusations that Toy Toy mimed but I won't even dignify that filth with a response. The Duchess of Dance spent most of the 90s touring the former Soviet block and a host of bankrupt African nations. She has nothing to prove! Anyway, sit back - grab some lube and a tissue - and prepare yourself for possibly the best performance of all time. The haters have been put in check!