Mylène Farmer - Oui Mais Non

I've been inundated with (at least two) requests to review this single and I'm more than happy to oblige. Mylène Farmer needs no introduction if you live in Europe but my Australian homegirls and gays might need some help. She is often described as the French Madonna due to both her phenomenal chart success in the 80s and inability to age gracefully. Personally, I think the comparison is unfair because unlike her American counterpart, Mylène still has hits and is not completely irrelevant. Although her latest smash does have more than a whiff of desperation about it. The completely natural, surgically untouched 49 year old has hooked up with RedOne for "Oui Mais Non" and some critics are accusing her of ripping off Lady Gaga. How ridiculous! Everyone knows that Gaga stole Kat Deluna's sound first - so, who cares? And everything sounds better in French anyway. You could probably read the obituaries to me en français and I'd think it was a love poem. But I digress. The production is slick, the chorus is catchy and RedOne thankfully forgot to bring his vocoder to the studio. I'm sold. The video, on the other hand, is a lazy "Bad Romance" rip off but you can't have everything. I've already ordered a physical copy of this from French Amazon. It's worth the 10 Euros just to stare at Mylène's natural beauty for hours on end!

Friday Flashback - Miami Mix Madonna

There must be something wrong with me. Hating on Madonna is usually one of my favourite past times but lately I've found myself re-visiting some of the old troll's less grating moments. Like her cover of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" - or more specifically, the trashtastic Miami Mix. I don't know what it is about this camp mess but every time I hear it, I get the urge to build a time machine out of unsold copies of "Hard Candy" and travel back to 1997. You know, to an era when Madonna was still fun and didn't think twice about ruining a much loved classic of musical theatre in order to please the gays. And it worked. The Miami Mix was an Oxford Street smash and even crossed over to mainstream radio, pushing the song into the top 10 at a time when the poor man's Stacey Q couldn't buy a hit in Australia. In fact, listening to these 4 and a half glorious minutes of pure ridiculousness, I can't help but feel that Madonna's finest moments should be collated for eternity. Perhaps a compilation of her 90s trash classics? I'd throw in "Thief Of Hearts" and "Human Nature" for starters. Trust me, it would sell more than the "Immaculate Collection"!