The return of Amanda Lear!

This is so exciting! Legendary disco diva Amanda Lear has just released a new single in France and it's one of the best things she's done in decades. Produced by Steve Campioni and Alain Mendiburu, "Chinese Walk" is a demented electro-pop anthem about the growing influence of Chinese culture - complete with marching sound effects and trippy synths not heard since 1983! It should be a hot mess of epic proportions but through some strange twist of fate, it works beautifully. I particularly love Amanda's kooky lyrics and the way the pretty beats showcase, rather than hide, her breathy vocals. Dali's muse really is in fine form at the moment. Her previous single "I'm Coming Up" would have been a top 10 hit for anyone under 65 and its parent album "Brand New Love Affair" was a late-career highlight. I'm so glad the pop icon is still riding that wave of momentum. She is one of music's last great originals and "Chinese Walk" is a sublime reminder of that. Happily, the video is just as amazing as the song. Amanda transforms from a Caucasian sex symbol of a certain age into a young Chinese girl in front of your eyes! It's very clever and surprisingly classy. The song is available to download from iTunes now. What are you waiting for?

Grace Jones - Live In Sydney

A couple of years ago I saw Grace Jones perform live for the first time. It was a revelation and remains one of the best concerts I have ever seen. Check out my review for a full round up. Since then, the legendary 62-year-old pop culture icon has pretty much stayed on the road. Her latest Australian tour is basically the same one she presented in 2009 - only with new costumes from famed Japanese designer Eiko Ishioka. Few artists could get away with rehashing the same show so soon after their last visit but this is Grace fucking Jones. And I would pay to watch her stuff envelopes. She is a living, breathing piece of modern history and still one of the most influential singers on the planet. No wonder Grace described Lady Gaga as a bore. She went there, did that and bought the t-shirt. In 1982. As such, I'm giving the legend a pass for last night's hugely enjoyable trainwreck of a concert.

The show kicked off after a great DJ set by Alex Taylor and the audience, largely comprised of MAGs and fag hags, went into a frenzy when the pre-recorded intro blasted over the PA. But then nothing happened. For about 10 minutes. The technical difficulties were eventually fixed and the curtain raised to the arresting sight of Grace singing "This Is Life" from under a satin sheet. It was a bit disconcerting not to see the star for an entire song but it was worth it when she emerged in a zebra outfit and white wig. Unfortunately Grace appeared to be higher than Whitney Houston and rambled incoherently about her new album "Hurricane", which she promised would be released soon. Someone really needs to tell her it hit stores in 2008. She then belted out a couple of tracks from that underrated gem but looked disorientated and demanded someone plug in a fan because she was "sweating like a racehorse". The diva then walked off stage for a very long time. To the point where some uncouth people actually started to boo.

It turned out to be a costume change and the bondage-tastic ensemble she returned to the stage in was stunning. She also seemed a lot more coherent and settled. She really nailed "William's Blood" and there was something eerily beautiful about "Devil In My Life". During the next extended costume change Grace told us about her legal woes in India where she was apparently held up on the suspicion of possessing cocaine. No comment. Her anecdotes ("I told them to keep the fucking luggage - but can I have my jewellery and music back?") were hilarious and she seemed genuinely happy to be in Sydney saying she'd like to live here. I think the legend's next career move should be reality TV or a talk show. I could listen to her gossip all night! The next segment was my favourite part of the concert. Grace emerged dressed as a giant rose and sang "Love You To Life" before breaking into "La Vie En Rose". She looked amazing shimmying across the stage in the breathtaking outfit and won back the audience when she turned around, revealing her exposed buttocks. Not bad for a 62-year-old!

If you think that's raunchy, you should have seen Grace's performance of "My Jamaican Guy" in a tiny mini-skirt and barely-there straps covering her breasts. It was truly a sight to behold. She followed that showstopping moment with "Corporate Cannibal" before delivering a disco-tastic version of "Well, Well, Well" in gravity defying sequined culottes. She then brought the crowd to their feet with an energetic performance of "Love Is The Drug". After yet another costume change, she was back on stage to perform "Libertango". I love the scary mannequin Grace danced with and was happy to hear something new added to the setlist. Next was an exact replica of the cape blowing "Hurricane" performance she closed the show with last time. It's still extremely effective but perhaps it's time for a change.

The grand finale of "Pull Up To The Bumper" and "Slave To The Rhythm" was perfection with the ageless beauty rocking the stage in an outfit that made her look like a young and pretty Nicki Minaj. Grace passed around the microphone to members of the audience and even flashed her tits. It was an awesome way to end a show that suffers from a stale setlist and extended costume changes. I love her new outfits but it's incredibly boring to wait 5 minutes between every second song. As a result the show lost momentum and seemed disjointed. Having said all that, Grace's ramblings were comedy gold and I'll be the first in line for her next visit. Maybe she just needs to record a couple of new songs first.

Cyndi Lauper - Live In Sydney

Last night I got to tick another iconic diva off my "must see" list. I caught Cyndi Lauper at Mardi Gras a couple of years ago but two songs after twelve pills doesn't really count. And to be honest, I almost missed this show too. The idea of sitting through a blues set didn't fill me with excitement. There are two distinct phases of Cyndi's career that I connect with - "Bring Ya To The Brink" (my favourite album of 2008) and just about everything pre-1990. My mum was obsessed with her in the 80s and I grew up with "She's So Unusual" and "True Colors". I also vividly remember mum taking me to see Vibes in the city. Who else remembers that masterpiece? Ms Lauper played a psychic and I think it had a completely believable plot about an Incan tribe in Ecuador with supernatural powers. Please tell me it's on DVD! But back to the concert. It was a revelation. I expected the songs it to be a fairly sedate affair but from the moment Cyndi took the stage and started bouncing around like a teenager I knew I was very wrong.

The first thing that strikes you about the seemingly ageless 57-year-old (seriously, what's her secret?) is her adorable accent. The next thing is her voice, which has only become stronger with time. It is one of the most unique instruments in popular music and she put it to good use on "Just Your Fool" and "Shattered Dreams" - two of the highlights from "Memphis Blues". From then on it was a fairly even mix of old songs and blues covers. I don't know enough about the latter genre to pass judgement on their authenticity but they sounded pretty good to my uneducated ears. Particularly the uplifting "Down Don't Bother Me". More surprising was how effortlessly classics like "She Bop" and "Change Of Heart" fit into the set. The extended encore, which almost ended in drama when one of Cyndi's crazy fans started harassing the diva for asking people to sit down, included "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", "True Colours" and the gorgeous "Rain On Me". I'd still love to catch her in pop mode one day but this was a great introduction to one of music's last originals.

All this talk about Vibes has put me in the mood for "Hole In My Heart" (below), a top 10 Australian hit for Cyndi in 1988. I need to see this movie again!

Raffaella Carrà Returns To Save Music

One of the most popular pieces I've ever written for this blog was a tribute to the legendary Italian diva Raffaella Carrà. I still receive the occasional email about it. They range from helpful recommendations all the way through to outraged essays. Mentioning La Carrà's Argentine adventure haunts me to this very day! Since then my love for Italy's greatest export has continued to grow. She really was ahead of her time and I'm convinced La Gaga stole her look. Anyway, the original and the best has been very quiet lately but pop fans can breathe a sigh of relief because Raffaella is back with the song of the (European/American) summer! "A Far L'Amore" is the handiwork of French DJ Bob Sinclar, who is best known in Australia for his massive number one hit "Love Generation.

Oh, hang on a minute...
Sorry, Raffa called and ordered me to stop polluting her post with inconsequential details about that boring Frenchman.

All you really need to know about this future smash is that it re-works the stunning 67 year old diva's 1977 disco classic "A Far L'amore Comincia Tu". That song is probably Raffaella's biggest international hit. It was translated into German ("Liebelei"), Spanish ("En El Amor Todo Es Empezar") and became her only UK hit when it was released as "Do It, Do It Again". It is so catchy, I can't believe it hasn't been revived until now. And Bob does a great job. He deserves credit for keeping the original vocal and I love the overhaul. "A Far L'Amore" now reminds me of club hits like "We Speak No Americano" and "Barbra Streisand". It's quite minimal and repetitive but after a couple of listens it gets stuck in your head and refuses to leave. La Carrà is even dusting off her sequins to appear in the video. It's exciting but they should just use the stunning fan-made effort (below). Raffaella's exquisite beauty and hypnotic dance moves are perfectly showcased. Brace yourself for the comeback hit of 2011!

Mimi & The Video Of The Year!

How does she do it? Despite being 24 months pregnant and crazier than the person who gave Cassie Davis a record deal, Mariah still manages to churn out the most fabulous video of 2010 on a budget that would make Jessica Mauboy roll her eyes and say bitch, please. In case you haven't heard it yet, Mimi has released a dance remix of "Auld Lang Syne" just in time for New Year's Eve. I know what you're thinking - finally a worthy successor to J Lo's "Waiting For Tonight"! But the diva wasn't content at recording the soundtrack to a billion drunk party pashes, she also found the time to gay up the 31st of December even further by filming the amazingly cheap video extravaganza you find below. Seriously, this kills me. If I could marry a YouTube clip I would be happy to spend the rest of eternity with this. Leave it to Mimi to squeeze her extremely pregnant arse into a low cut baby doll mini-dress and preen her flowing locks like she's still on the set of "Dreamlover". Throw in the cheapest firework projection in film history, a bunch of tacky ad-libs ("Does anybody really know the words?" at 2:25 mins) and a remix sounds like it was put together by Eiffel 65 and you have an immediate trash classic. Bow down to her for she is holy!

Mylène Farmer - Oui Mais Non

I've been inundated with (at least two) requests to review this single and I'm more than happy to oblige. Mylène Farmer needs no introduction if you live in Europe but my Australian homegirls and gays might need some help. She is often described as the French Madonna due to both her phenomenal chart success in the 80s and inability to age gracefully. Personally, I think the comparison is unfair because unlike her American counterpart, Mylène still has hits and is not completely irrelevant. Although her latest smash does have more than a whiff of desperation about it. The completely natural, surgically untouched 49 year old has hooked up with RedOne for "Oui Mais Non" and some critics are accusing her of ripping off Lady Gaga. How ridiculous! Everyone knows that Gaga stole Kat Deluna's sound first - so, who cares? And everything sounds better in French anyway. You could probably read the obituaries to me en français and I'd think it was a love poem. But I digress. The production is slick, the chorus is catchy and RedOne thankfully forgot to bring his vocoder to the studio. I'm sold. The video, on the other hand, is a lazy "Bad Romance" rip off but you can't have everything. I've already ordered a physical copy of this from French Amazon. It's worth the 10 Euros just to stare at Mylène's natural beauty for hours on end!

Céline Dion - Taking Chances

After exposing you all to the filth that is Wendy Ho, I thought I should raise the bar by featuring someone cutting edge and alternative. But I decided to go with Céline Dion instead. Sorry. The thing is - I was contemplating what to choose for my Friday flashback and couldn't think of a better alternative than "Taking Chances". Which is strange because Céline and I have a strained relationship. Years of listening to my mum belt out "My Heart Will Go On" while doing the ironing have left deep psychological scars that are yet to heal. Furthermore, the diva's post-90s output leaves a lot to be desired. That is with one glorious exception. "Taking Chances" is the best song the Canadian legend has ever recorded. And I'm convinced it would have been a huge #1 hit - if it was recorded by anyone else. Instead, it only peaked at #60 in Australia and just scraped into the UK top 40. What a disgrace! Not only does Céline take to the pop/rock genre like a surgeon's knife to Heidi Montag's face, the lyrics ring true and the big, bold chorus is a thing of great beauty. I love rocking out to "Taking Chances" while I'm driving (yes, I really am that gay!) and the song has some great remixes. It should be noted that Céline's jam is actually a cover. Platinum Weird (ie. Kara Dioguardi and Dave Stewart) do a great job on the original but the song needed a big set of pipes. And the presence of an aging gay icon with a really, really bad wig. Speaking of which, Céline really ups the glamour stakes in the amazing video clip. Unfortunately, I can't embed that extravaganza on the blog - so you'll have to make do with this fabulous montage of live performances. My favourite bit is Céline's bizarre dance at 1:25 minutes. Stunning!

Get Outta My Way - Remixes

I know I'm a bit late with this one but I couldn't resist the urge to give my two cents on Kylie's new single cover and glorious "Get Outta My Way" remix sampler. And it's been at least 3 days since my last Minogue post, so I'm due for an update! The cover doesn't exactly blow me away - it looks a bit Photoshop-tastic and the cheap bitch really needs to consult her cutting edge fashionista sister about finding a new outfit - but she looks stunning and twice the Kylie can never be a bad thing. As for the remixes, so far so amazing. My favourite mix comes from Kris Menace, who transforms the song into the perfect soundtrack for an Ibiza sunset. I can almost smell the sweat and Sangria! A close second is Sidney Samson's crazy interpretation. Most of you will probably hate it but this might actually get played in Australian nightclubs (outside of Oxford St). There is, however, a glaring omission from the sampler - the trashtastic Bimbo Jones mix. I hope the track's absence doesn't mean that Parlophone decided to give it the flick. The remix is a hot mess of epic proportions but Kylie needs something low brow to keep the gays happy. "Get Outta My Way" is tentatively scheduled for release on the 27th of September. Fingers crossed it follows "All The Lovers" into the bottom reaches of the top 15. Jokes! I sense a smash. Now all we need is a fabulous video - preferably with more random white stallions and floating balloon animals. Check out MMB's remix sampler below. Well done, Mark!

Kylie's Gang Bang - All The Lovers Preview

So here's the first sneak peek at Kylie's outrageous "All The Lovers" video clip, which finds Dannii's increasingly immoral sibling partaking in what appears to be a massive gang bang. What about the children? Jokes aside, I fucking love it! The Queen of Pop should promote indecent exposure and public fornication more often. This could be Kylie's first truly iconic video since "Slow" and should provide the buzz she needs to snag a lofty chart position. More importantly, the bitch looks HOT. That costume is so much more flattering on film and I haven't seen airbrushing this thorough since Mariah's last album cover. I'm so glad Kylie has decided to bring sexy back and push the envelope again. No doubt the video will be torn apart by the usual critics - who seem to think every woman over 40 should be covered from head to toe in a burka -but this is still very tasteful. It reminds me of a big budget perfume commercial or Vogue fashion shoot. Sexy but still artistic and glamorous. I get goosebumps when the chorus kicks in and they lift her from the crowd. Only three more days before the finished product is unveiled!