From the post-apocalyptic drama of "Run The World (Girls)" to the zero-budget performance video for "Love On Top", Beyoncé has delivered a bit of everything this era. And while I definitely like some of the concepts more ("Countdown") than others ("1+1"), the videos have all suited the material and shown off Queen B's legendary versatility. It seems fitting then that she keep the best for last.
Actually, that's not quite right. "Party" isn't the best video from "4" - that would be "Countdown" or "Run The World (Girls)" - but it's my favourite. I love it when Bey lets her mask slip a bit and has a bit of fun. Like when she raided the liquor cabinet in "Why Don't You Love Me?" before dusting her 16 Grammys. Sometimes I think the most successful artist of the millennium over thinks things in the pursuit of excellence, so it's nice for her to take a step back and deliver this rambling, yet incredibly enjoyable, mess. Which she directed herself. Respect.
The concept:
Beyoncé throws a party in a trailer park and invites over a bunch of friends that include her superstar sister Solange, former Destiny's Child bandmate Kelly Rowland and rapper J.Cole.
Why it works:
1. The clip suits the lyrics perfectly. This is a party I would love to attend... if only to see Bey mow the lawn stilettos and little else.
2. It is a high-camp extravaganza. This is what I imagine a street party thrown by the cast of RuPaul's Drag Race would look like. Hair rollers and short shorts as far as the eye can see.
3. Kelly Rowland's presence adds some serious star power to the proceedings!
4. The sight of Beyoncé doing her make-up on the toilet. Millie Jackson approves.
5. Ghetto fabulous fashion that will make your head spin.
6. Excerpts from the diva's "Year Of 4" documentary add to the clip's homespun charm. It's completely unnecessary but cracks me up.
7. The trashy Cassie look-a-like.
The negatives:
Michelle Williams' invitation was obviously lost in the mail. Rude.
The verdict:
Move aside, BB Homemaker. Trailer park Betty is the new Queen of my heart.
Seriously, Ms Kelly. What the fuck? I have worshipped your flawless music since the birth of Destiny's Child. My loyalty has never wavered - not even when you looked like a man with that short hair in the late 90s. But two recycled videos in as many weeks is beyond lazy. A couple of days ago, I wrote a post about the overwhelming similarities between "Lay It On Me" and Livvi Franc's "Now I'm That Bitch". The Rowl Dogs barked that Kelendria wasn't to blame. That Sarah Chatfield directed both videos and duped the hapless R&B legend. So what's their excuse this time?
A visual for "Down For Whatever" (is this officially the third single?) surfaced online yesterday and it's basically a frame by frame remake of Wynter Gordon's "Believer". Is Kelly the victim of poor judgement and bad advice or just one shady bitch? Again, I'm sure this is not intentional. Some of Michelle's Christian values must have rubbed off on her but Bey's BFF needs a better team around her now that she's the most famous DC diva. Watch "Down For Whatever" and "Believer" (below) to make up your own mind.
Beyoncé has copped a hiding in the media this week for using ten seconds of choreography from the Belgian ballet 'Rosas danst Rosas' in her amazing 'Countdown' video.
Meanwhile, it turns out that Kelly Rowland's 'Lay It On Me' video is an exact replica of Livvi Franc's 'Now I'm That Bitch' - albeit with more obvious cock references - but that revelation has been greeted with overwhelming silence.
Why the double standard?
It's obvious that picking on Bey has become something of a hobby for certain blogs because she generates traffic for them but play fair.
The great irony is that 'Countdown' clearly pays homage to women in musicals from different eras - be it Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face, Debbie Allen in Fame or that nobody in the obscure ballet that three people had seen until last week.
Kelly, on the other hand, just recycled the work of one of her contemporaries - down to the latex strips and adults-only human pyramid.
And it's not like Livvi Franc is an old or obscure artist.
"Now I'm That Bitch" was a number one club hit in the US two years ago and the stunning diva even conversed with me to promote that epic club-banger in one of my favourite interviews!
Now tell me, who showed imagination and creativity and who is the sticky-fingered thief?
The difference according to some commentators is the fact that the same woman directed 'Now I'm That Bitch' and 'Lay It On Me'.
But by that reasoning shouldn't the blame for 'Countdown' be placed squarely on Adria Petty's shoulders? It's not like Beyoncé directed it herself.
Instead, she had the decency to admit that the ballet was a reference and went about her business.
What does Ms Kelly have to say for herself? Nothing.
The thing is I don't blame her either. I'm sure she didn't want to release an exact copy of a rival's video. But this shit happens because everything has been done before.
It just seems that some people are put to a higher standard due to their record-breaking career and legacy as the millennium's greatest talent.
Watch 'Now I'm That Bitch' and 'Lay It On Me' to see true recycling in action.
Now that Beyoncé is up the duff and living in semi-seclusion to avoid pressed haters, the baton has been passed to Ms Kelly to keep R&B alive until her return. And the soul legend isn't letting a moment go to waste. She established herself as Aretha Franklin for 2011 on the hyper-sexual "Motivation" and continues slay sad pretenders like Rihanna on "Lay It On Me". The seventh second single from "Here I Am" is an all-conquering club-banger that should appeal to fans put off by the slow groove of her last hit. It's not as ground-breaking as anything on "4" (or Michelle's "Love Gun" for that matter) but Kelendria has dished up another hit.
Slick production, Big Sean and a chorus more infectious than the STD she caught filming the video make "Lay It On Me" a radio-ready smash. And let's face it, those softcore antics can't hurt. Bey's BFF makes a fool of herself grinding on a bunch of half-naked men (think Kylie's "All The Lovers" as produced by Titan Media) and cavorting with an elephant but it's so over-the-top, it kind of works. I particularly like the incredibly unsubtle phallic imagery that runs through the clip. Let's just say no mother is going to buy their child a slinky ever again after seeing this hot mess. Ms Kelly, you've done it again!
Reviewing Kelly Rowland's latest album has been on my 'to do' list since returning from LA. The problem is I still can't decide if it's a lazy collection of soulless club-bangers and babymakin' slow jams or a tight R&B offering that I subconsciously begrudge for overlooking killer tunes like "Rose Colored Glasses" and "Forever And A Day". I'm sure the truth lies somewhere in between and I'll keep listening to "Here I Am" on repeat until I get some clarity but there's one song that demands immediate attention - Kelendria's amazing fisting anthem "I'm Dat Chick". We all know Kelly likes to get her freak on but this is some next level shit!
Tenitra is praying for Ms Kelly's soul
"I be the one that they love to mention," announces Bey's BFF at the beginning of Tricky Stewart's catchy club-banger. No wonder. "Work your fist, I'm dat chick" demands the DC diva repeatedly in filthy chorus. I thought all that talk about dripping over Lil Wayne in "Motivation" was an exaggeration but now I'm convinced that when Ms Kelly rains, it really pours. Because she has no control of her pelvic floor. Regardless of the health and safety implications of the 30-year-old's favourite hobby, this is a hot song and one of the standouts on "Here I Am". An aspiring director has even taken it upon himself to pitch a video. Unfortunately it doesn't involve Kelly in stirrups surrounded by dancers dressed in head-to-toe Latex but the idea is cute enough. And this really needs to be a single. There's only so many times fetish clubs can play NIN's "Closer"!
As much as I worship at the alter of "4", there's no denying that the album's promo campaign is the year's hottest mess. "Run The World (Girls)" sat on iTunes for a month with no video or promotion before being thrown away like a used condom after Bey's iconic BBMA performance/ground-breaking Oprah appearance. She then rushed out "Irreplaceable 2011" within weeks - but not before performing "1+1" on American Idol and "End Of Time" at the BET Awards. "Best Thing" didn't exactly set the charts on fire but it was a top 3 hit in the UK and climbed into the US top 20. However, instead of performing it at the VMAs, Queen B announced her pregnancy by belting out "Love On Top" despite naming "Party" as a possible single and releasing a random video for "1+1". Is anyone else confused?
I kind of love that Beyoncé is promoting the album as a whole instead of focusing on individual singles but this is getting ridiculous. "Love On Top" exploded on US iTunes after baby-gate but has steadily fallen with no promotion or video. Meanwhile "Best Thing" has got a second lease of life on urban radio - it's currently sitting at #2 - and "Party" is finally starting to gain some traction. That jam debuted on the urban airplay chart this week at #37. In Australia it's just as confusing. "1+1" is on high rotation on Channel V, Max and MTV but "Love On Top" is rocketing up iTunes after the diva's surprise appearance on X Factor. For the record, I think "Love On Top" or "End Of Time" are good choices for single number three but I'd be happy with anything. I'd just like to know!
On the bright side, Bey can take some comfort in the fact that she hasn't been reduced to opening for Chris Brown like Ms Kelly. Her former Destiny's Child bandmate looked at bit worse for wear in Toronto - maybe she finally saw the sales figures of "Here I Am" - but I'm glad she's still out there working it. As Khia would say - get money, bitch! And damn, if she doesn't have four of the hottest male dancers in the business. Fast forward to the one minute mark for the year's best sausage fest. Someone is going to lose an eye!
In case you're wondering what I've been listening to for the past couple of months, here are ten tracks that formed the soundtrack to my American trip. They are clearly all defining anthems of the highest quality, so don't pay too much attention to the rankings. An honourable mention should go toDJ Khaled's "I'm On One", which I was obsessed with for a couple of weeks before coming to my senses.
After years of throwing around insults like Shitzinger and Flopzinger, Nicole turned out to be a total sweetheart when I met her at a showcase. To make matters worse, "Killer Love" is one of the year's best pop albums and I'm now another crappy, soft porn video away from becoming a Scherzy stan. How fucking depressing! One of the highlights from her stunning opus is "Say Yes" and I probably listened to one hundred times over the past couple of months. RedOne finally gave something decent to someone other than Gaga!
I've always had a soft spot for the world's most successful country act but hearing "Just A Kiss" on the radio every day in LA sealed the deal. This gorgeous mid-tempo ballad walks the line between pop and country with the grace and skill of 90s Shania. Bring on the album. I'm sick of waiting!
Ms Kelly's fuck anthem was unavoidable in the States. Ladies from Alaska to Alabama are raining over their newly inspired men thanks to the latest jam from the most successful (on the R&B airplay chart) child of destiny. I've already written about "Motivation" but it's still pushing my buttons all these months later.
All hail Selegend! The thinking man's Disney diva is not only riding the holy cock of Biebus, she's also revolutionising popular music with her triumphant album of Britney rejects "When The Sun Goes Down". While everything Selena touches turns to gold, my favourite song on her third offering is pre-release buzz single "Bang Bang Bang". Sure it rips off La Roux and highlights the fact that 18-year-old multiple Grammy winner (in waiting) has a thinner voice than LeAnn Rimes' bikini body but I dare you not to love it.
6. Let Me Down/Dark Side - Kelly Clarkson
The landslide of Kelly Clarkson demos to hit the net in 2011 is extraordinary. Almost as startling as the American Idol winner's inability to lock her computer when ducking out for a McDonald's run is the high quality of the songs. "Let Me Down" and "Dark Side" are brilliant pop/rock anthems with hit potential. Which makes her decision to go with "Mr Know It All" (AKA that shit Bruno Mars B-side) all the more perplexing. Pray that these tracks make the album.
5. Remind Me - Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwoood (Video)
The best country duet since "Islands In The Stream". Enough said.
4. Lift Off - The Throne featuring Beyoncé
Queen B - most successful artist of the millenium and the slayer of your faves - lends her exquisite vocals to her hubby and VMA defender's joint project "Watch The Throne". I find it a difficult album to get into but "Lift Off" clicked intantly. I love the epic feel, the almost retro 60s vibe that runs through it. And Bey tears up that beautiful chorus like a diva possesed. Rihanna lost her wig just listening to this on the radio.
Earlier this year I met Jess and told her to stop releasing shit singles from an otherwise great pop album. Instead of throwing a drink in my face, she kind of agreed and said she wanted to release "Maze" but was going with a new song called "Inescapable" written by Dianne Warren. I assumed it would be a ballad but I couldn't have been more wrong. This is pure 80s bubblegum pop and I love every second of it. It's her first song with true international appeal since "Burn". Welcome back, baby.
Someone told me this jam is actually about a vigilante killer, which is upsetting because it's my happy song. Hearing this on the radio in America never failed to put a smile on my face. I love the quirky little hooks and the fact that it sounds like it was recorded on someone's iPhone. As for the lyrics, I don't understand them, and to be honest, I don't really care. As far as I'm concerned this song is about wearing shiny new shoes or something equally lame.
1. Gucci Gucci - Kreayshawn (below)
The only femcee worth her fake nails broke big this summer. Kreayshawn made the transition from YouTube sensation to genuine pop star with less fuss than anyone in history. "Gucci Gucci" was unavoidable in America and I'm still obsessed. Time will tell if she's a one hit wonder or the next Nicki Minaj but, for the moment, I'm too busy laughing at her amazing rhymes to care. The basic bitches have been put in their place and for that we should all be very grateful!
"Run The World (Girls)" is now a gold-selling top 10 hit. In Australia. Not only that but "Best Thing I Never Had" is already top 30 on our iTunes with no airplay or promotion - a stark contrast to its position in America. I think we all know what this means. Beyoncé is the new Kat DeLuna. Only instead of ruling Belgium's airwaves, Honey B is snatching wigs from Penrith to Perth. Kelly Rowland could never!
Damn, Bey. You've done it again! The official second single from "4" hit the internet this afternoon and it's a triumphant return to form. I love "Run The World (Girls)" - for so many different reasons - but it's kind of hard to identify with. Unless you're a pantsula practising glamazon from the hood with a fetish for Major Lazer beats. "Best Thing I Never Had", on the other hand, strikes an immediate chord with anyone who has ever been fucked over by someone they love. It's a bitter Dear John letter set to music. Beyoncé lets her man know exactly how bad he screwed up before declaring that he was just a loser and she's better off without him. Preach!
I love the lyrics ("thank god you blew it, thank god I dodged a bullet") and her vocal oozes raw emotion. I wonder if Bey wrote it - after all she was recently named one of the 20 most successful songwriters of the new millennium! It will be interesting to see how "Best Thing I Never Had" is received. I think it's her most commercial single since "Sweet Dreams" but she has a hit-and-miss track record with ballads. Hopefully radio play it after completely ignoring the genre-defining flawlessness of "Run The World (Girls)". If all else fails she can get Miss Kelly on the remix to add a bit of star power. Listen to Bey's new single below. I can't wait for the song to hit iTunes so I can play it on repeat and feel completely miserable!
After living in Beyoncé's shadow for the past 15 years, Kelly Rowland has emerged from the darkness with a freshly snatched House of Dereon wig in her back pocket. Miss Kelly is now the most successful child of destiny as her new single "Motivation" tops the US urban airplay chart this week and climbs to a new peak of number 21 on the Billboard Hot 100. I'm so happy for her! When "Commander" flopped, I honestly thought Kelly's time had passed. That song was so perfect and should have been her moment to shine. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be but the stars have finally aligned for the hardest working diva in the game. And with probably the least commercial song of her career.
Don't get me wrong, "Motivation" is a smokin' hot tune but Bey's childhood friend was having no luck with the urban crowd. "Grown Ass Woman" and "Rose Coloured Glasses" were chart disasters of Ashanti-sized proportions. The dancefloor appeared to be her only salvation but Miss Kelly had other ideas. "Motivation" is like an old school 90s slow jam on steroids. It's so sleek and sexy. I can't even play it in the car when I have company because the lyrics make me blush! Kelly is basically the heterosexual equivalent of a bossy bottom in the song, telling her man where and how she wants it. Whatever happened to biting the pillow and getting on with it so you can be finished in time for Chelsea Lately? But I digress. "Motivation" is amazing and I hope K Row remembers to throw Bey a bone when she takes over the DC throne. Congrats!
There was a lot riding of Beyoncé's performance at today's Billboard Awards in Las Vegas. It's no secret that "Run The World (Girls)" is the love-it-or-hate-it hot mess of the decade and the timing and legitimacy of her special Millennium Award was questioned by the usual crowd of pressed troublemakers. And while I'll admit that the timing was suspect, there's no denying that she well and truly deserved the award. It's basic math. When Billboard released their artists of the decade countdown in back 2009 Beyoncé came in 4th, while Destiny's Child placed 9th. Add the two together and you have the biggest star of the new millennium. Which admittedly is only 11 years old. But still!
So you rock up to receive a dubious award in front of the all your main rivals at a time when your video is being derided as National Geographic porn and your single is being outsold by Selena Gomez. I guess there are two options. Go with something tried and tested, perhaps throw in a couple of verses of "Halo" to remind people that you can sing, or stand by your wacky chorusless wonder and snatch every wig in the building with a flawless display of artistry that hasn't been seen since Michael Jackson did the moonwalk at the Grammys. In case you haven't seen the video - Beyoncé went with option number two.
Words can not describe how breathtaking her performance was. Dancing alone for most of the song against mind-bending projections that appeared to merge dimensions, the 29-year-old superstar redefined what it means to be a pop star. Bey looked amazing, worked the stage like a master, incorporated new technology, sounded brilliant, danced like a mad woman and whipped her hair until I thought her weave would fall off. There's a whole slew of canny ladies out there with Max Martin on speed dial but Beyoncé proved yet again that when it comes to raw talent, she is the only complete package in popular music.
Almost as exciting as the main event were the pre-performance testimonials and Bey's acceptance speech. It blows my mind that Honey B has the First Lady pimping out her hood anthem at random award ceremonies. That would be like Nancy Reagan rocking up to the MTV Music Awards in the 80s to praise Madonna! I loved hearing trannylicious Tina Knowles, her shady dad Matthew, poor Solange, Stevie Wonder, Babyface, The-Dream, Barbra Streisand and Lady Gaga talk about Beyoncé's stunning contribution to music. It was more than I could get my head around in one viewing.
And the acceptance speech was better yet. I cried when I saw Michelle Williams and Miss Kelly overcome with emotion. Is a brief Destiny's Child reunion too much to ask for now that K Row is a hitmaker in her own right and 'Shell has a high profile job cleaning toilets in Houston? And what about Bey thanking original members LeToya and Latavia! Those pressed bitches now have nothing left to complain about, so I guess that's the last we'll ever hear from them. It was sad that Bey forgot to thank Farrah Franklin but I think I'm the only DC fan with a soft spot for that trainwreck so I guess it's all good.
Here is the best performance you will see until the next time Beyoncé lifts the bar. Take a deep breath and prepare to be blown away.
Choosing the year's worst videos was like picking up in a brothel. Too fucking easy. It seems that everyone dropped their bundle in 2010 and dished up pile after pile of steaming shit. I avoided choosing the videos that stank due to budget restrictions - actually most of those made my best of countdown - because there's only so much you can do with $20 and an iPhone. Instead, I focused on clips that had the resources to be so much better. I should also point out that I'm strictly talking about the visuals. I love most of these songs. In fact, many of them will feature on my best singles of 2010 countdown. But that's still no excuse for inflicting the following crimes against humanity upon us!
I really couldn't decide whether to put this in my best or worst videos of 2010 countdown. The direction and cinematography are absolutely stunning and Lady Gaga deserves props for wearing a latex nun's habit without looking like she's just escaped from an insane asylum. My problem with "Alejandro" is that it's all been done before. This video is like looking inside Madonna's brain circa 1989. There's the religious symbolism that permeated her entire "Like A Prayer" album, the industrial setting of "Express Yourself" and even the pre-historic diva's pointy bra. Hell, she even lifted the dance routine from "Vogue"! I'm sure the clip is revolutionary if you're 15 and didn't experience the real deal but it gives the rest of us a serious case of deja vu.
This clip sums up everything that's wrong with Kylie at the moment. She's completely lost touch with the people that buy - or would potentially buy - her music. You have a ridiculously catchy song about flirting with guys at the club to make your lame arse boyfriend jealous and Dannii's much older sister films a high art video wearing Gaultier couture in which she stands around on chairs like a hypnotised meerkat. I honestly believe if she had pulled on some jeans and made a fun clip that even remotely related to the song, the middle aged housewives and suburban gays that comprise the bulk of her fanbase would have come to the party. Instead she impressed ten fashionistas in Paris. Good job.
8. Skin I'm In - Static Revenger featuring Luciana (Video)
Now this pains me. I worship at the church of Luciana and can legitimately lay claim to being her number one fan. She's also a good friend of mine and I fucking LOVE this song. But there's no denying that the video is completely rancid. It's cheap, visually boring and makes a genuinely stunning woman look like a 49 year old bus driver. Then there's the small matter of Static Revenger hogging the spotlight, the ugly extras and redundant special effects. "I Like That" was literally filmed for 500 pounds by Luci's hairdresser and it stands up against anything funded by a major label. This, on the other hand, is just rank.
7. The Way You Love Me - Keri Hilson featuring Rick Ross (Video)
Any video that features cameos from Jojo, Faith Evans and Dawn as Charlie's Angels-esque special agents should be genre defining. And "The Way You Love Me" starts promisingly enough. That is until Miskeried (as she's known to Bey stans) strips off and takes pussy popping choreography to previously unimagined depths. This shit would make a gynaecologist blush. Seriously, bitch - put it the fuck away! I don't want to see your bony arse grinding away like a ten dollar hooker on Meth and I really don't want to catch an accidental glimpse of your grand canyon. Nasty!
Yet another great song undone by a disastrous clip. "Licky" was filmed at the height of Lady Gaga mania and her influence can be seen in every outfit Shontelle wears. Unfortunately, instead of making the rich man's Rihanna look cool and edgy - they have the unfortunate side effect of making her look like a man. Seriously, I've seen drag queens without make up look more feminine that Shontelle in this clip. The scene where she's strolling down the street dressed as some kind of tranny pimp could explain the number 81 chart placing of her fabulous album.
Seeing the convicted criminal from Girls Aloud impersonate Sophie Ellis-Bextor in "Promise This" was offensive enough but the mind numbingly dull "Halo"-by-the-sea video for her latest flop borders on inhumane. With nothing else to look at apart from pop music's most infamous charisma free zone, you are forced to listen to her paper thin voice and compute shiteous lyrics like "turn the lights out in the lighthouse". Ear rape has never been quite as soul destroying.
How do you blow a sure fire hit that had the internet in a frenzy from the minute it leaked? Easy. Hire the world's worst special effects team, rope in an ugly French DJ to make a completely unnecessary cameo and come up with the lamest dual personality storyline in the history of modern music complete with extras wearing gas marks. Oh and throw in some bad choreography for good measure as well as a selection of outfits that Kelly probably stole from a charity bin outside the House of Dereon.
2. Get Em Girls - Jessica Mauboy featuring Snoop Dog (Video)
Poor Jessica. She must have thought she had it made when Sony sent her over to LA to film "Get Em Girls" with Hype Williams - the man behind Bey's "Videophone" and Ke$ha's "We R Who We R". But instead of the iconic clip she was hoping for, the diva ended up with a video so bad it almost killed her career and sunk her album before it was even released. The whole thing is just so tacky, forced and unconvincing. Seeing Jess awkwardly stumble down a runway in some of the worst ensembles in fashion history is truly painful to behold and I can't decide if Snoop looks more bored or embarrassed. Happily, the success of "Saturday Night" has turned things around for Australia's new Queen of crunk but this will live on in infamy for all the wrong reasons.
1. Mistakes - Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem (below)
If nothing else this clip answers a question I've long pondered over. What happens when two gigantic cunts collide?
Another week, another Pop Panel. I have to admit that this was one of my favourite selections. The winner was always a forgone conclusion but I would have been happy for any of the top 5 to win. There's an interesting mix of Eurotrash, floorfillers and even a bit of indie-pop. We also have the lowest and highest scores in Pop Panel history, which is something of an achievement. I know that's pretty thrilling but more exciting still is our smokin' hot celebrity guest. It's about time things got a little bit sexy around here and until Fadde returns my phone calls, tonight's judge will do nicely! Anyway, here are the usual bitches:
John (US) writer of the amazing Pop Music Notes. If you haven't had the pleasure of reading his blog, check it out. I love it when he goes a little bit country and digs out some old favourites from the 80s and 90s.
But now for our celebrity guest! Sam Taylor caused quite a stir across the internet in 2008. Not only was he managed by Kylie's stylist/gay husband but had the nerve to cover "I Don't Know How To Love Him" as his debut single. It was refreshing to have a pop star who didn't beat around the proverbial bush about being a poof and - better yet - could actually hold a note. He then had two amazing songs on the "Beautiful People" soundtrack before briefly falling off the radar. Happpily, he's back with a brilliant new ballad called "It's A Mistake". Before getting stuck into the reviews, I took the opportunity to ask Sam some questions.
Sam, you have a new single on the way. Tell us more about "It's A Mistake". It's so pretty! Well I was contacted on Myspace by the writer, Charlie Mason (Ashley Tisdale, Cinema Bizarre), back at Christmas and we started to work with each other. He sent me over this song and I knew I had to record it straight away. I fell in love with it the first time I heard it. It took a while to get into the studio and get the song back but I'm really happy with the outcome.
I love your songs on the "Beautiful People" soundtrack. They're almost old fashioned. Have you purposely avoided trends with your music? I'm guessing there's no RedOne on your album! Thank you! I love them too, written by Terry Ronald and Ian Masterson. I dont think I have gone with the trends of things although I would like to do a huge dance song. No, no RedOne but of course I wouldn't say no to working with him, I would probably jump up and down a bit! They make some amazing music.
Do you fear becoming typecast as a balladeer? Erm no, not really cause that's what I enjoy singing and I think people connect with me doing that better than anything I guess, although I haven't got an uptempo pop one out there really.
You first came to our attention as William Baker's new charge. Are you still managed by him? No not any more. I was for about a year and a half, was a good time, he's a very creative man and amazing at what he can do. I learnt a lot from the experience.
Did he at least introduce you to Kylie? Yeah I met kylie a few times, one of the first dinners I had was with her.. I was a bit in shock and awe, but such a loverly person, and an idol for so many, it was a honour to meet her so close and personal.
When is your album being released? We're getting impatient. I'm not sure, I'm getting impatient too! Need to get a few more songs. It's hard by yourself LOL.
I read that you were a big Spice Girls fan. Who was your favourite? Really? Where did you read that? LOL! (I read ithere!) I did like them, not a huge crazy fan but yeah I would say VB or sporty LOL but they are all amazing.
Which pop stars do you find inspiring at the moment? Pop stars... I love Pixie Lott. So fresh and fun and beautiful. Of course, Beyonce (right answer). She is just ridiculous beyond belief. At the moment I just have my iTunes on constant shuffle so I'm listening to everyone and anyone at the moment. I have Rox's album "Memoirs" on at the moment. I love it!
Um, I have to ask... are you single? I'll be in London soon! LOL Hahaha... Yes I am! :P
Listen to Sam's amazing new single "It's A Mistake" (below).
As usual the songs are ranked from lowest to highest.
D'Luv: This is kind of an across-the-board fail on every level, no? I recall the Pop Panel being the first time I heard "Beat Again" last summer. Sadly, Kardinal Offishall only had one hit to rip off. 0/5 John: I didn't like the track when I first heard it, and I haven't listened to the track in about a month. I like it even less now. Huge misstep by these guys when they should have been trying to keep the momentum going. 0/5 Mike: Aren't boybands supposed to be attractive? 0/5 Paul: Oh someone has stripped the boys naked and doused them in vocoder hell. I can imagine them there now, all tied up in microphone wires, balls in mouths while someone feeds their voices through computer technology to give us... this. It's like an X-factor horror movie/porno waiting to happen. Strangely, though I like it (the song, maybe also the thought of them tied up!) - it's awfulness grows on you ever so slowly. 3.5/5 Sam Taylor: I don't know why but I don't like this song, seems to be doing really well, but I can only hear one voice and not sure on it. I like The Wanted better. 1/5 The Prophet: The boys in JLS are bigger faggots than every single member of the pop panel, past and present, combined! Oh and their music sucks too. 0/5 Total: 4.5/30
That old gay from Erasure strikes out on his own with this club anthem.
D'Luv: Andy should have just kept the six bucks he spent on making the video and bought himself two tacos. Or at least hired Lori Watt to direct. The song itself is better than I expected, though. He should just do like the Pet Shop Boys and either opt for animated videos, fill them with stock footage of old Russian movies or hire noted personalities to star in them (again: Lori Watt). 2.5/5 John: I don't hate it, but something is missing. Maybe it's the video budget, because this looks like it was shot in the reception area of a doctor's office. Or a bathhouse, with those flashing skimpy towels covering his nether regions to light the way. Seriously, I miss Andy's upper range being the strongest part of any song he's on. 3/5 Mike: When did Aussie Joe Bugner launch a music career? The video is disturbing on so many levels (although mostly because I suspect it's a terrifying glance into my own future) but I like the song. And want to hear his album. 3/5 Paul: Love that he's still going. Love this tune too - clubby with elements of pop so the Erasure fans don't get too scared. The album is proper decent too with an anthem to both Debbie Harry and drag queens all in one song. Which would have made a slightly better single than this one. 4/5 Sam Taylor: Not a fan. 1/5 The Prophet: AHHHHH! KILL IT! 0/5 Total: 13.5/30
Former RBD member goes solo in a shameless bid to steal Lorena Herrera's Queen of Mexican pop crown!
D'Luv: Cute. I'd snack on the guy in the video's churro. 3.5/5 John: Meh. 2.5/5 Mike: The video totally rips off "Colgando En Tus Manos" but the song is pure Mexi-pop magic. Anahi has been put on notice. 4/5 Paul: Oh another pop-bondage video, and the dude once again is quite cute. I really liked RBD as it goes, and this is a rather enjoyable little pop ditty. In fact, I listened twice in a row and it was much better the second time, so I'm elevating my score to a rather generous 4/5. It's just so damn catchy!! Sam Taylor: No comment. 0/5 The Prophet: No comprende. 0/5 Total: 14/30
The true queen of pop unleashes her latest masterpiece. And yes, this is the official video!
D'Luv: I'm giving Heidi four points for the trashy song. But I'm subtracting four for being married to Spencer. Then I'm giving her five points for splitting with him. And then subtracting two for the tacky video. 3/5 John: Despise pretty much everything that is associated with Speidi, but if I'm being honest, the track itself isn't bad. The lyrics, on the other hand, made me want to find a crowd of pageant girls and go postal. 2/5 Mike: I'm so disappointed in Sam. Everyone knows that Heidi > LC! Rude. Anyway, like everything Heidi has ever recorded, this is fucking BLISS. 5/5 Paul: Spencer needs to disappear, but I'll give Heidi a brief reprieve because this song caught my attention. The vocals are thin enough to slide under a fire door but the song has a certain charm and I can't help think how it might sound if given to someone with a bit more vocal "welly"... it's a proper poptastic tune though so i'll go 3.5/5. Sam Taylor: A 99 p store Britney. I didn't listen the whole way through, not a fan of this song. Plus I'm a fan of The Hills and team LC. LOL! 0/5 The Prophet: The plastic princess of pop is snatching wigs left, right, up, down and all around. 5/5 Total: 18.5/30
The Dutch diva's latest single was penned by Guy Chambers.
D'Luv: The music's okay, but the chorus is weak and the lyrics are atrocious. Oh, and Pink wants her nose ring back, baby. 2/5 John: There isn't anything BAD about the track, but there isn't anything that stands out about it, either. The track sounds like something that was written specifically for Kelly Clarkson, but she was too busy ranting about Ryan Tedder to give it the time of day. 3/5 Mike: This wouldn't sound out of place on Kelly Clarkson's "All I Ever Wanted", which is a big compliment. I love this hot bitch and can't wait to track down her album. 4.5/5 Paul: The beginning of this sounds like Leona Lewis' seminal disco epic "Outta My Head" but with a few more guitars, ergo it's quite nice but I feel like I've heard it all before. 3/5 Sam Taylor: I kinda like this, not the video though but the song is good and she's good. 4/5 The Prophet: Who the fuck is Nikki? Never heard of her, but this is catchy. Ashley Tisdale could do it justice! 3/5 Total: 19.5/30
Korea's most successful girlband attempt to crack the English speaking market. Again.
D'Luv: YES. 4/5 John: What do you mean "again"? They got to #76 in their one week on the Hot 100 with "Nobody"! Anyway, I have been jamming to this track for a couple of weeks now, and I'm a big fan. This summer has a disco feel now thanks to Wonder Girls. 4.5/5 Mike: This makes me want to hook up with a gaysian and move to Korea. Has-Beens Aloud could never! 5/5 Paul: Lovely Nikki (not the singer, from Pop Reviews Now blog) keeps trying to get me into K-pop and has thus far failed. This isn't really changing my mind either - it sounds like a sub-par PussyFlapTrolls and I wasn't even aware that there could be a sup-par version of them until I heard this. Not good. Not good at all... 2/5 Sam Taylor: This made me laugh at first ha! But it's a cute, catchy, cheesy pop song and the video put a smile on my face. 4/5 The Prophet: Why can't American pop be this fun and interesting? 4.5/5 Total: 24/30
Australia's latest indie pop sensation re-visits the 70s.
D'Luv: Lesb-indie rock you don't have to wear thick black-framed glasses and skinny jeans to enjoy! The lead singer chick does an amazing job of tucking her cock up herself in the video, too! For that alone: 4.5/5 John: This is one of those tracks that I like at first listen, but I'm not compelled to listen to again. And what's with everyone doing this "Fireflies"-type banging on the keyboard in a small room motif? 3.5/5 Mike: Megan's been on my radar for a while now but she takes things to the next level with "Rich Kids". Smart, catchy and effortlessly fun - Australia could finally have an indie pop princess who lives up to the hype. 4.5/5 Paul: It's quirky, it's screaming 'look at me, i'm different dammit' and it works too. It's a little stop-start at times and I just wish they'd get on with it, but overall it's quite charming and lovely. 3.5/5 Sam Taylor: I like this one, it's cool. I wanna dance with you singing along in my head. 4/5 The Prophet: Pretentious hipster brats, oh yay. I actually like this though. I wish I was as cool as them. 4/5 Total: 24/30
The backing singer from Destiny's Child ropes in David Guetta for her latest attempt at solo relevance.
D'Luv: Kelendria is the true Destiny's Chylde, and is here to mop up the floor with that amateur Beyonce's wig. Love the song. Love the video. I hope this at least goes to #96 on the U.S. chart! 5/5 John: Love it, love it, love it. Guetta and Kelly should just do a whole album together. Too bad this will follow "When Love Takes Over" to the bottom of the Hot 100. 5/5 Mike: Poor D'Luv clearly bought the extra strong poppers by mistake last night because bitch is tripping if he thinks Kelly is fit to breath the same air as Queen B! Despite her many shortcomings and complete absence of anything resembling star quality or charisma, this is a fucking hot tune and deserves to be massive. 5/5 Paul: Loving the K-star. I call this bossy pop and it totally works for me. Brilliant chorus, brilliant lyrics and totally whip off your top and get your nipples out dancetastic. 4.5/5 Sam Taylor: I like this, not as good as her last one but it's cool. 3/5 The Prophet: I used to be a major fan of hers until she started getting popular and having hits. I liked Kelly better when she was a flop. Whatever. 5/5 Total: 27.5/30
Just look at that classy line up. The stand out performer is clearly Chris Sorbello but the rest of them are pretty fabulous if you're into that kind of thing. I have to admit I was sceptical about Australia's new Queen of Clubs (c) joining what is essentially an urban music festival but Thursday night's Supafest was proof that genre lines are becoming increasingly irrelevant. The show generated a lot of bad press (Akon missed the Adelaide leg, Kelly threw a massive tantrum at the airport and Eve sported the worst weave I've ever seen) but I enjoyed it despite the fact that half of the acts usually make my skin crawl. But more about them later. My whole reason for going was the lovely Ms Sorbello. I know she's a good live performer but there's a big difference between singing to 400 people in a nightclub and working it in front of 15,000 punters at Acer Arena. And she did amazingly well. In a short but sweet three song set, Chris more than held her ground among so many big names. She showed the majority of them up.
Chris getting mauled by fembots
Opening with "Dangerzone" was a smart move. I love that song and still think it's a viable single. It was interesting to note that the majority of the dance steps haven't changed since her showcase but why fuck with something that isn't broken? Chris used the stage better than anyone and her amazing fembots put Kelly Rowland's broke arse dancers to shame. The choreography was so tight. I still get a kick out the sequence where the fembots bring out the microphone in a series of robotic moves and their costumes looked brilliant under the lights. Chris didn't look too shabby either. Her old Hollywoood meets Cassie circa "Electro Love" hairstyle was the sex and I'm a complete whore for that skirt. "Dangerzone" was followed by "Symbiotic". It's no secret that I don't really like that song and Thursday night's performance didn't change that. I just think it's missing something. Like a chorus. Not that it mattered because Chris saved the best for last. It's been such an amazing journey witnessing "So Lonely" evolve from a shy little demo back in 2008 to the slick electro anthem it is today. I actually got quite emotional hearing her perform it in front of so many people. That song alone sums up how far she's come over the past year. It was the perfect end to an accomplished and original set.
Chris & Sean Paul swap numbers back stage
Next up was Eve. I've had a not so secret gay man's crush on her since she joined forces with Gwen Stefani on 2001's "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" (has it really been 9 years?) and was looking forward to finally seeing her live. And she didn't disappoint despite having what appeared to be a dead muppet glued to her head. Bitch needs to call Ken Paves ASAP! Eve's set was very simple but she has star quality and it was fun hearing old favourites like "Who's That Girl" and "Gansta Lovin'". Unfortunately, I missed Jay Sean while I was back stage annoying Chris but I did manage to get high on the marijuana fumes streaming out of a certain dressing room. My only regret is not running into Kelly Rowland. I was dying to ask her what it's like to be in the presence of greatness (ie. Beyoncé) but I did hear a fantastic story about her ironing Akon's shirt - which makes me love her even more. By the time I got back to my seat, Sean Paul was half way through his set. I'm not exactly a fan but the crowd was going wild for him and I loved his bootylicious Jamaican dancers.
Grrrr!
The biggest surprise of the night was Pitbull. With the exception of his stunning rap on Livvi Franc's immortal smash hit (in my mind) "Now I'm That Bitch", his music has always bored me senseless. However, after thirty minutes of watching the pride of Miami thrust his groin at the audience - I was just about ready to start a new fansite in his honour. It would just be heavy on pictures and light on audio. That said, "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" and "Hotel Room Service" sounded great live and his band was incredible. Consider me a convert! After Chris, the act I was most looking forward to was Kelly Rowland. As a life long Destiny's Child fan, she holds a special place in my heart and the hype surrounding "Commander" (her new single) suggested she had taken things to the next level. She hasn't. I hate dissing someone I genuinely love but Ms Kelly was a hot mess. She looked amazing and sounded good but she seemed lost on stage and made a series of embarrassing comments that made her look like an idiot. Things started well with great versions of "Work" and "Like This". I thought her re-jigged version of "Dilemma" was a misstep but not as bad as leaving the stage for an extended break after three songs only to return in the same costume. I guess she was busting for a piss. The highlight was her Destiny's Child medley of hits but I cringed when she told the crowd she was going to take them "way back" by singing "Survivor". It was released after at least three of the songs that preceded it. She then performed an awful cover of Coldplay's "Clocks" before thanking Australia for taking "When Love Takes Over" to number one. Sorry, Kelly. It actually peaked at #4. I know I'm being pedantic and slightly mean but I expected more from her. Maybe she was just having a bad night. All in all, I really enjoyed Supafest and hope they bring it back next year. Preferably with urban superstars like Solange, Khia, Michelle Williams, Choice, Livvi Franc, Kiely Williams and Heidi Montag in the line up. A boy can dream.
From the post-apocalyptic drama of "Run The World (Girls)" to the zero-budget performance video for "Love On Top", Beyoncé has delivered a bit of everything this era. And while I definitely like some of the concepts more ("Countdown") than others ("1+1"), the videos have all suited the material and shown off Queen B's legendary versatility. It seems fitting then that she keep the best for last.
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