Seriously, Ms Kelly. What the fuck? I have worshipped your flawless music since the birth of Destiny's Child. My loyalty has never wavered - not even when you looked like a man with that short hair in the late 90s. But two recycled videos in as many weeks is beyond lazy. A couple of days ago, I wrote a post about the overwhelming similarities between "Lay It On Me" and Livvi Franc's "Now I'm That Bitch". The Rowl Dogs barked that Kelendria wasn't to blame. That Sarah Chatfield directed both videos and duped the hapless R&B legend. So what's their excuse this time?
A visual for "Down For Whatever" (is this officially the third single?) surfaced online yesterday and it's basically a frame by frame remake of Wynter Gordon's "Believer". Is Kelly the victim of poor judgement and bad advice or just one shady bitch? Again, I'm sure this is not intentional. Some of Michelle's Christian values must have rubbed off on her but Bey's BFF needs a better team around her now that she's the most famous DC diva. Watch "Down For Whatever" and "Believer" (below) to make up your own mind.
Since re-opening the blog, I've written about a number of Australian pop songs - fromthe sublimetothe ridiculous- but there are too many noteworthy singles to comment on individually. So I thought I'd do a round-up post. Here are some random musings on the latest tunes by some of the country's best (and worst) purveyors of pop music.
Stan Walker feat. Static Revenger - Light It Up (Video)
I love Stan and know Dennis (Static Revenger) through Luciana but this unlikely pairing turns out to be a little underwhelming. While "Loud" was slightly generic, it was on trend and positioned the 20-year-old as Australia's answer to Taio Cruz. The track was also fun, catchy and memorable. Three adjectives that don't really apply to "Light It Up". Perhaps it's a grower. B-
There's something about Darren Hayes that I just don't like. Maybe it's the fact that he looks like a serial killer. Or it could be those hideous Savage Garden power ballads that mum used to torture me with on the way to school. But I digress. This is first song from Darren that I've liked since "Crush (1980 Me)". It's beautiful and I think everyone should buy it. A-
These punk/pop rockers are being hailed as the next big thing and they have already amassed a loyal following of crazy stans. I'm not convinced but "Let It Land" is easily their most commercial single to date and at least they're not Short Stack. Keep an eye on these guys. C+
Shannon can switch me on anytime he likes. This is a good, old-fashioned pop/rock tune that would have been a massive hit five years ago. It's a little too dated for 2011 but, ironically, that's the main reason I like it so much. "Switch Me On" is a warm and fuzzy flashback to less complicated times. I can't wait for his album. B+
Gotye feat. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know (Video)
Having already notched up six weeks at number one, there's not much left to say about "Somebody That I Used To Know". Apart from labelling it the "Someone Like You" for underfed hipsters. A
Marvin Priest feat. Wynter Gordon - Take Me Away (Video)
I really like Marvin and sang the praises of "Own This Club" months before it charted. Furthermore, everyone knows that I worship at the alter of Wynter Gordon. So it pains me to admit that this leaves me cold. The song is fine, the production is tight and the video is a winner but something is missing. Bring on single number three. B-
AIH is one of those bands I never mention on the blog but like. A lot. This is a typically clever and well-crafted pop song from one of the country's best pop acts. I love the video too. They are due a commercial breakthrough. B+
My old friends copy pay homage to the Black Eyed Peas' "Rock Your Body" on the latest single from their sophomore album. Not as embarrassing as it sounds. C+
Unfortunately not a Cher cover but still amazing. The iconic punk rockers continue to be better than your faves 17 years after their debut. Admittedly, this is not their best single but there's better on the album. B-
Emma Louise - Jungle (below)
"Jungle" is that rarest of finds - a smart, quirky and catchy pop song that isn't so far up its own arse that you automatically want to hate it on principal. Kimbra, I'm looking at you. Emma Louise is starting to get some serious buzz with good reason. She's got the voice, look and sound to cause some serious damage. I can't wait to hear what she does next. A+
I guess I should start this post by reminding everyone that Wynter Gordon's debut album "With The Music I Die" was released on Friday. It's absolutely brilliant and you need to own it. Expect a full review soon. Now that's out of the way, time to talk about the gorgeous singer's Sydney showcase. When I hear a dance diva is doing an "acoustic set", I usually run in the opposite direction. Memories of Melissa Tkautz belting out "Sexy Is The Word" accompanied by only a piano still haunt my dreams but I had faith in Wynter. After all, this is the woman who cut her teeth on soulful jams like "Surveillance" before conquering the dance world - so I knew she would bring it. And she did.
302 is a tiny venue the size of a luxurious toilet cubicle. So they really weren't lying when they said it was going to be intimate. Wynter squeezed her way through the horde of admiring gays and eventually sat down at a microphone with only a guitarist for back up. She started with a knock out rendition of "My Guy", which showcased exactly how strong her voice is. J Lo's favourite songwriter told us she had a sore throat but it was impossible to tell. She sounded flawless. Next up was "Til Death", which came across a lot darker pared back to basics, and a surprise cover of Katy Perry's "ET". I loved her version and think it would make a cool B-side somewhere down the track.
I have to admit I had reservations about an acoustic rendition of "Dirty Talk" but it was a lot of fun. Her next surprise was a cover of Arcade Fire's "Wake Up". I have to admit I'm not familiar with the original but I'm going to hunt it down because Wynter's version was achingly beautiful. She closed the set with "Buy My Love", which has been confirmed as the next single from her album. I love the song and can imagine radio lapping this up. It's so cute and catchy! The only disappointment in an otherwise fantastic set was the absence of "Still Getting Younger". Happily, I was told that remixes have already been commissioned and the best song Kylie never released is firmly scheduled to be her fourth single. It's going to be massive!
Earlier a today I wrote an article for Sydney Star Observer about the impending release of Wynter Gordon's debut album and wrote that it "promises to be one of the party albums of the year". Well, I need to buy some tarot cards and set up a stall in Newtown because my predication was spot on. A six track sampler of "With The Music I Die" arrived in my inbox this evening and I'm absolutely stunned. I knew the album was going to be good but my future beard has delivered half a dozen of the hottest dance-pop songs I've heard in a very long time. Even if the rest of the album is awful - which it won't be - Australia's adopted club queen has already snatched every wig in town. Poor J Lo must be so pressed that Wynter kept all the good shit for herself! Here is the full "With The Music I Die" tracklist and my initial comments about the tracks I've heard:
Til Death
The album's punchy second single has been lodged in the iTunes top 20 since release and looks set to climb into the top 10 when Wynter returns to Australia for a promo tour in June. It's a great pop song and scarily, still grows on me with each listen !
Dirty Talk
This shit is undeniable. The highest selling single in Australia for the first quarter of 2011 is now catching on around the world. Absolutely defining. Now somebody please put the original naughty school girl video back on YouTube. That hot mess is what made me fall in love with my flawless boo in the first place!
Don’t Stop Me
I love this. An effortlessly cool club anthem with an icy edge that I'd usually associate with Robyn or Roisin Murphy - if someone threw a pill down their throat and pushed them on the dancefloor. My favourite part is when Wynter coos "I can melt your heart, you'll be all mine". That and the sassy countdown at the end. Perhaps not single material but great nonetheless.
Buy My Love
Gold diggers have a new theme song! "Buy My Love" is so cute and catchy - definitely a good choice for single number three. It's more electro than we're used to from the diva but there's still something quite camp and 80s about the track. I love the lyrics ("Let's take a quick vacation, a little shopping spree - a fancy destination, we'll spend it all on me!") and adorable chorus. I can definitely hear this on the radio.
Still Getting Younger
Was I more high than usual or did Wynter tweet that this was the next single? If the sticker on the album cover is any indication, it looks like Neon is going with the fabulous "Buy My Love" but I think I prefer this glorious explosion of dreamy synths. Even if it is slightly less commercial. "Still Getting Younger" isn't an ode to Madonna's plastic surgery but a soft and pretty dance-pop love song. It actually reminds me a little of Kylie's "Tightrope" (my favourite "Fever" era track) with a bit of 80s Moroder thrown in for good measure. The lyrics are gorgeous too - "I'm not lonely, I just need you. You're this empty space I got." Simply beautiful.
Drunk On Your Love
Unheard.
All My Life
Unheard.
Rumba [feat. Kevin McCall]
Unheard.
Back To You
Now this is very different for Wynter. It's a moody mid-tempo electronic groove with amazing lyrics like "you don't know that when I lie in bed I touch myself to you" and "I took you for granted, I spit in your face". It's an atmospheric and multi-layered little gem that no doubt will worm its way further into my consciousness with each listen. Fabulous.
In The Morning [feat. Robbie Rivera]
Unheard.
I'm so curious about the other tracks now. If they are of a similar standard, Wynter will have one of the best albums of 2011 on her hands. "With The Music I Die" is released in Australia on June 17. I'm pre-ordering my copy today. Here's her current hit "Til Death". Someone really needs to mash it with "Til The World Ends" to create a truly morbid floorfiller!
There must be something in the water because all my favourite divas are dropping new videos this weekend! The first clip that you really need to see - right this very second - is Wynter Gordon's stunning "Til Death". As far as I'm concerned, Australia's adopted club queen can do wrong. Her music is flawless, she saved J Lo's album from being a total trainwreck and has the best hair in music. Happily, two of these three defining characteristics are showcased in her latest clip. "Til Death" was amazing from the first listen but that chorus packs more punch each time I hear it. I've even come around to the Denzal Park edit! The video possibilities for such an evocative song were endless but I'm glad they kept it cute by going with a 'house party' theme. Think "Just Dance" - only with hotter guys and an attractive protagonist. It's a simple concept but they executed it really well. Wynter's personality shines through and I could spend a week writing love poems to that glorious fro! "Til Death" is already a massive club hit in Australia and has been lodged in the top 20 for weeks but this should push the track even further up the charts. Wynter's got this!
Apologies for recent the lack of updates. I got my gangsta lean on over the weekend - hitting up a Snoop Dogg & Nelly showcase on Friday, before rocking Supafest on Saturday. It was all very messy and I just couldn't face the computer. Which is annoying because I've been wanting to post Wynter Gordon's new gem since Thursday. You might remember that I wrote about "Til Death" a couple of weeks ago. Some bitches questioned the veracity of my claim that Denzal Park gave the track a makeover, well check out the clip below and take a seat! The Aussie duo have given the track a polish and it's already apparent that Wynter has another smash on her hands given the song's non-stop radio coverage. It's a killer jam and, dare I say it, an improvement on the amazing "Dirty Talk". However, I have two minor problems with it:
1. It is quite similar to Britney's "Til The World Ends" - both lyrically and thematically - albeit it with a gifted vocalist and fresher production. Wynter's track has been doing the rounds for months, so I think Ke$ha might have been surfing YouTube stoned one day and forgot she heard it before penning Brit's flop.
2. The WAWA radio edit is vastly better than the version being pimped out below. I love Denzal Park - a lot - but their version sounds like an edited club mix, while the Polish producers have turned the song into an irresistibly upbeat pure pop explosion. But until that leaks, I guess you don't know what you're missing.
Whatever. The song is defining and it wouldn't surprise me if it follows Wynter's triple platinum Australian debut all the way to the top of the charts. Enjoy and download (legally) when the song is released on Friday. Expect a remix package featuring the aforementioned WAWA, Dan Castro, Oxford Hustlers, Andy Murphy and Polen to follow shortly.
Yesterday Neon Records announced "Til Death" as the official follow up to Wynter Gordon's massive number one smash "Dirty Talk". The song has been doing the rounds for months but it has been given a complete overhaul by Denzal Park - the producers behind Zoë Badwi's fabulous top 10 hit "Freefallin'". I'm told it now has an "Only Girl In The World" vibe and is scheduled to hit radio on April 11. Some of you might be scratching your head, wondering what happened to "Pride (Putting It Out There)" but that was just a promo single for Mardi Gras. To muddy the waters even further, another record label is trying to cash in on the success of "Dirty Talk" by re-releasing the diva's 2010 club smash "Believer". Only now Vicious is pushing the track to radio as Wynter Gordon featuring The Freemasons instead of the other way around. Cheeky! It's a bit complicated but I kind of like the Wynter overload. Just remember that her official second single is "Til Death" but better yet - buy them all! My second favourite interviewee returns to Australia in April for the Creamfields dance music festival. Buy your ticket now!
I made a complete spectacle of myself at Mardi Gras this year, so I'm going to keep this post short and sweet - before erasing what I can remember of the night from my memory forever. The rumours that Rihanna would jump in a cab and head over to Moore Park after her show at Acer Arena turned out to be a load a shit. At least, I think so because everything after 6am is a bit of a blur. Instead we were treated to the fabulous double bill of Alexis Jordan and Wynter Gordon. Seriously, who needs Riri when you can have two divas that can actually sing? First up was Alexis. I've been a huge fan of this girl from the moment I heard "Happiness" way back in May 2010. She has a huge voice and some killer tracks up her sleeve. Alexis just needs to work on her image. I know she's only young but that girl next door persona is already getting boring. Having said all that, the 18 year old did a great job at Mardi Gras. She sounded fantastic and looked cute in her blue sequined butterfly cape. Dancing is obviously not her thing but she has what it takes to develop into an amazing performer over the next few years.
The other party performer was the divine Wynter Gordon, who I ran into while queuing for the toilet. Classy. I was surprised she remembered me from our interview and wished her luck for the show. Not that she needed it. Wynter almost blew the roof of the RHI off with her spectacular performance of "Dirty Talk". Her double platinum number one hit - when is it going to be officially certified by ARIA? - was the song of the Australian summer and always destined to become a gay classic. Let's face it, we all love a song about getting our legs up on the bar in the back of someone's car. The sexy singer looked stunning in her red jumpsuit and showed genuine star quality as she prowled around the stage like a true diva. Check it out below. I was a bit surprised she didn't sing the official Mardi Gras anthem "Pride (Putting It Out There)" but I guess there was a one song limit. Wynter's follow up to "Dirty Talk" comes out in a couple of weeks and I hope it's another massive hit. She has the looks, voice and charisma to mix it with the big girls. Oh and I should also give props to Seamus Haji for the night's best DJ set. He even played Mimi's "Touch My Body". Bless.
Do you remember when Sydney's Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras used to have a different theme song every year? Most of them were pretty crap but occasionally they got it right - Dannii's "Everlasting Night" and Robyn Loau's camp Chaka Kahn cover "Never Miss The Water" both spring to mind. Well, it's that time of year again and Mardi Gras has decided to revive the tradition by roping in the services of party performer Wynter Gordon. And the stunning diva has outdone herself. "Pride (Putting It Out There)" has been floating around the net in demo form for quite some time but it has been polished to perfection for the Gras. I love the massive chorus and so 90s it hurts main room house influence. There are also inspiring lyrics about being yourself and a typically powerful vocal. The roof of the RHI will explode when Wynter belts out this uplifting anthem. I can't wait! It should be pointed out, however, that this is NOT the follow up to "Dirty Talk". That song will debut in the next couple of weeks. "Pride (Putting It Out There)" is just a gift to the gays while Neon Records sorts out single number two. Give Wynter's Mardi Gras anthem a listen below and keep an eye out for it on iTunes. It should be available to download in the next few days.
A couple of weeks ago I turned up to a random hotel in Sydney to interview Wynter Gordon. I was an emotional wreck, running late and left the questions I had been putting together for the past few days on the train. So there I am, madly scribbling questions onto a serviette in the lobby with a pen I stole from reception, when I was ushered up to Wynter's suite. It wasn't the most auspicious of beginnings but from the moment I sat down next to the woman behind such stunning unreleased classics as "Surveillance" and "Had Enough", I knew it would be fine. Wynter was lovely, articulate and even hotter in person! We talked about her current Australian smash "Dirty Talk", dissected her multitude of leaked tracks and discussed her other career as a songwriter for hire. It was particularly interesting to hear about her involvement in J. Lo's scrapped album and her evolution from urban diva to club queen. I'm so disappointed she didn't perform in Sydney. If "Dirty Talk" keeps exploding it shouldn't be too long until she's back. If the clips from her other Australian gigs are any indication, it will be well and truly worth the wait.
Congratulations on the success of Dirty Talk! It’s been huge in the clubs over here and is now shooting up iTunes. Is it strange to be an Australian sensation almost a year after the song was released in the US? Things take a long time to happen, I didn’t even realise it. Songs take a long time to go from the club to the mixshow to the actual radio, so I mean... I’m actually not surprised. I’m just grateful.
Do you have any plans to re-release it in the States now that it’s taking off? Well, it’s just going to radio in the States. In America it was just released in the clubs.
I thought it had been out for a while over there. No, it was just pretty much an internet sensation and then every club played it like it was a radio song.
Can I ask why you changed the video? I kinda liked the naughty school girl look in the original! The first video was kinda my idea but we had such a small budget that my idea was a little bit too big! You know what happened? The label didn’t realise that it was going to be such a big song so we just did it as, you know, an internet video. It wasn’t supposed to be the huge MTV video. You know, to win awards or anything, so it was like a small budget but I had big dreams. I was like we’re gonna have smoke, there’s gonna be animals flying from the rooftops but my vision was a little bit too big for the budget, so at the end it just looked like a perfume video.
I kinda loved it to be honest with you. The hair, the costumes! Yeah, the second video is a little bit more tame...
It’s a more artistic but I still prefer the first one. You know what? I do too. I liked it. I think we should have mashed them up and then do two videos.
Or at least keep the first one online because I realised it’s been taken off YouTube. I’m devastated! Maybe I should just put it back up. It’s on my page. I can put it back up. I’ll do it for you!
Thank you. How sweet! So the song has these awesome lyrics about S&M, hot wax, the back seat of your car... Yeah!
Are guys scared of you now or are they flocking to you? No, I mean, when I go out... the Guidos, you know the Jersey Shore club, they’re just like "do it, take your clothes off!" but most people don’t. They know it’s fun. I don’t really come across as the pole hopping slut. I wrote the song in good fun. You know, I have my naughty side when I have a boyfriend but since I’m single...
I’ll put out a call to all the hot guys I know. I’m single and ready to mingle! No one really does anything. It’s really much more perverted old men.
That’s kinda cool... I guess! It’s like dads times two. Like grandpas.
So you got the geriatric crowd on board? Yeah!
That’s awesome. If you’re in a wheelchair, you’re into me!
You mentioned on Twitter a couple of weeks ago that you heard your neighbours blasting "Dirty Talk"... Yeah I was in my bed sick.
And I was just wondering, have you got your head around hearing your song on the radio? You know what – it’s happened so many times now. People are just listening to it on their iPod. It doesn’t weird me out anymore. I don’t think I’ve ever been weirded out by it. It’s just surprising and happy and I always get a little excited.
It must be encouraging... You know, I’ve never gotten into this business for the fame of it. I really genuinely just wanted to do music and not do office work. I was like anything to spare my life from, you know, an office. I just wanted to do music. That’s what I love to do and I’m just glad I got the opportunity and every time I hear it and I hear someone playing it, I know I still have a job. So it’s like – praise the lord!
You started writing songs for other people. A lot of people seem to be doing that now. Like Lady Gaga and Ke$ha started writing songs for other people before striking out on their own – is it just a foot in the door or a good way to hone your craft? I wouldn’t say hone your craft but I mean for a lot of people it’s a foot in the door. I know that Lady gaga, she always wanted to be an entertainer. Like Ke$ha always wanted to be an entertainer and it’s pretty much, you do whatever you gotta do to get in. So I mean for me writing started it off. Honing the craft is really just doing it consistently. Writing, performing, whatever you can. Just not stopping. You kinda get better.
Speaking of songwriting, I love all of the songs you wrote for J Lo’s album, particularly “Everybody’s Girl”, which I think is a total smash. Really?
Yeah. That seems to have been shelved. Please tell me you’re going to use those songs yourself. Um, I’m not!
They’re so good! I’m really upset what happened with her. I think “What Is Love” is actually my favourite she did. I feel like if she did that one song that would have been like her next big smash but unfortunately things with her label got a little dodgy.
It’s just a shame though because I remember when “Everybody’s Girl” hit the net, I thought it was her best song in ten years. What about "What Is Love"?
That’s hot too. I think she vocally killed that one. Cause nobody ever really hears J Lo go and I think she went with that song. She sang it.
When you write something and it doesn’t come off do you get very frustrated? Sad. I mean artists go through the worst... I mean this whole industry is based on opinion and your life is definitely in someone else’s hands. It’s not like you get a cheque every day. It’s not a 9 to 5. There’s no security or insurance. You really do music and hope people like it and support it and your label has to support it. You know, it’s risky.
It’s funny, I was listening to a lot of your songs on my iPod on the way in here and it’s like your sound has evolved over the years. It was quite urban in the beginning and now you’ve become a club queen... The thing is when you first come out, there’s limited people to work with. You just work with whoever’s available and I grew up in New York City, in Queens, so I worked with a lot of urban producers so writing to their music and their tracks, I got a lot of urban music. I grew up listening to a lot of alternative and pop music, all types of music, so I was never really in one genre. It was really what was available to me. The quality and things like that. And as I started to do more and more, I got to experience more and more. Meet different people, use better things.
Speaking of different people, you’ve worked with everyone – David Guetta, Freemasons. The biggest names in dance. How do you keep scoring all these A List collaborations? I say everything happens for a reason. There was one point in time where I was – where the hell is my life going? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I was just recording and I didn’t know what was going on with my life and then I did the Flo (Rida) song and that got me through a period of time. You know, doing that I got to go on Jimmy Kimmel, American Idol, travel the world, do huge festivals. And then I did a mixtape and David Guetta called. It’s like – I love what you did on your mixtape. I want you on my album. And I’m not even an artist out yet. I have no album, no single and it’s just like there’s another opportunity. I think everything for me is happening in its time and reason. I have to believe that or otherwise I’ll just get a noose. End it now!
I really love your angry songs. I was getting down to Woman Scorned and Had Enough, do you find it cathartic to put all that into music? Get it all out? Yeah. Sometimes I want to rip someone’s head off. I’m a pretty emotional person.You have to be to be an artist. I’m very passionate, so when I’m angry, I’m really angry. There’s no bringing me down.
But the you’ve also got a softer side cause a song like “I Like Your Noise”, which I think is so romantic. I wrote that for Taylor Swift!
Really, that’s interesting. I write songs for other people. Like I wrote “Rebel Song” for Miley Cyrus because she put that album out “Can’t Be Tamed” and when I heard the name of the album, I was like I wanna write a song for Miley and then I wrote “I Like Your Noise”... hey, how did you hear that song?
It’s online. It is?
Sorry! My version? Are you kidding? Wow. Alright. Can you hear Taylor Swift doing that?
Now that you say it, I totally can. You sound like her on it. When I was writing it, I was like, I wanna write for Taylor Swift. A lot of times I think about people.
I might just mention another one of my faves – "Wonderland". Those lyrics are so smart and sexy. Is that one you might re-work for the album? We were thinkin’ about it but there’s so many great songs. I’m proud of my music. All the songs that have leaked, I can proudly say that there’s no songs from me that suck.
How did they all get out there? I think the same thing. Cause you just said “I Like Your Noise” is on the internet and I’m thinking... how did it happen?
Are there spies in the studio? I don’t know. I don’t understand it. It used to make me really mad.
Is "Surrender" still going to be your second single? It’s tentatively the second single. It’s supposed to be. The thing is there’s so many good songs, great songs that it’s kind hard to narrow it down and I really wanna show different sides of me. I don’t wannna put out another song where it doesn’t really showcase my vocals.
So it’s not gonna be another dance anthem like "Dirty Talk"? Right.
Cause you’ve done so many different genres... I really wanna let people see the different sides of me. So I have to be careful of what I do.
I can’t wait to hear it. I should just go upstairs and get my laptop.
Oh fuck yeah... everything that has leaked has been amazing. Nothing that has leaked is on the album.
I reckon you’ve got two good albums of material from the songs that have already leaked. I have so many songs, I’ve been waiting for one song from the album to leak, it’s just been songs for other people.
So your EP is really cool and has a great cover... I styled that!
Is it just a stop gap until your album? My manager wanted to do that. It’s really just a compilation of all I’ve been doing. You’ve got "Believer" on there, "Toyfriend", so it was just kinda... it has one new song "Right Here" and it was pretty much this is what I’ve been up to if you haven’t heard all of them together.
It’s a nice little introduction to people who don’t know you so well. Yeah.
One last question, why did you change your name from Diana to Wynter? I do love my Diana. But I guess it’s just like for every artist... it’s just like my Hannah Montana.
Your alter ego? Not an alter ego. It’s giving me a chance to just have a separate part. My music and all that on the side. People don’t recognise me on the street, so I just say I’m Diana. If you don’t know me, I wont even tell you what I do.
Pop Panel never ceases to amaze me. One week Kim Zolciak scoops the pool with a perfect score and the next a pair of critically acclaimed indie-pop darlings take the prize. At least it's never boring! I have to admit I'm kind of torn by the result. I would have loved our runner up to win. It's the second time she's almost snatched victory and I think she deserves it for having 3 great singles out this year. But then our victor is amazing and I've been playing that song on repeat for weeks. Actually, unlike the other judges, I really like most of the songs this week. Some for their so bad it's good appeal and others because they're just pretty - if not strikingly original. Oh well, you be the judge. Is this single of the week up to scratch or should the following judges get a life and get off the internet?
D'Luv (US) writer of Chart Rigger and Idolator Mike (AUS) author of this classy blog The Prophet (AUS) writer of The Prophet
We were also assisted by the following bloggers:
Gordon (UK) writer of the amazing Diva Incarnate. If high camp pop is your thing, then his blog is THE place to be!
and
Enric (Spain) writer of Blog petit, pero valent. He's one of my hot Spanish bitches, so you know he's defining.
and last but definitely not least we have a stunning celebrity judge!
Erika Jayne is one of the hottest dance divas on the block right now. Her first 4 singles shot to #1 on the US club chart and her new hit "One Hot Pleasure" looks set to follow suit. Erika's catchy jam perfectly straddles the pop and dance worlds. It's slick, catchy and sexy. It was also written by club King Dave Aude and my homegirl Luciana - so you know it's quality. And don't even get me started on the video (below). It contains so much fabulousness that prolonged exposure is sure to turn you gay. Despite the fact that Erika is pure sex and really turns it out. Give it a look! The song is on iTunes now. Buy it. I really hope this is her crossover hit. An Australian record label would be crazy not to jump on it. I'm so excited to have her on board!
As usual the songs are rated from lowest to highest. Here goes!
D'Luv: If Natasha spent less time working with trendy writers and producers and more time actually writing decent material like her first album, I might not have to sit here every time I hear one of her goddamn boring-ass songs and wonder why I never got to fuck her brother when he was thin and still relevant. So screw her. 1.5/5 Diva Incarnate: You've really lowered the bar with this one: the good thing about this song is that if you like it you can just buy Beyonce's "Halo" off itunes instead. -5/5 Enric: I must say that I hate her with all my heart, I hate her annoying voice, her tampon-ad songs, and her appearance on Nicki Minaj’s album. But, for the first time ever, I love her rip off of Jordin Sparks’ Battlefield. Is Ryan Tedder (producer of the track) trying to make another Halo-Already Gone thing? 5/5 Erika Jayne: Saw the video. Love the new fashion risks she’s taking. Can’t wait for the remixes! 2/5 Mike: Thanks for that charming story, Proph. I'll never be able to listen to "Unwritten" again without wanting to call the authorities. As for Natasha - she still looks like a distant relative of Phar Lap but "Halo" is my probably my favourite song of all time, so anything that rips it off this closely is ok by me. 4/5 The Prophet: I can't believe I used to love Natasha Bedingfield when I was younger. When I was an underage teenager and first moved to Sydney I made this creepy old guy who was obsessed with me buy me one of her singles. He didn't even buy me her album. He was such a freak actually, once I went to his house to play my Gamecube because I didn't have a TV yet, and he had this young teenage boy staying with him who looked like some street trash who had been kicked out of home and was sleeping with this old pervert to keep a roof over his head. I just ignored it and continued playing Resident Evil, then went home. 0/5 Total: 7.5/30
D'Luv: Musically, this song sounds like a knockoff of Hurts' "Wonderful Life." Vocally, it sounds like Leona Lewis getting pile-drived beneath the Brandenberg Gate, with thighs jutting out to each side like twin beacons of freedom. 1/5 Diva Incarnate: Since she's German I give this a nine! And in English I give it a 2. Enric: A beautiful song, but it sounds so Ryan Tedder that it gets boring after the first chorus. I love seeing Sarah Connor, she perfectly fits in this blog. 3/5 Erika Jayne: Go Germany! 1/5 Mike: Back off, bitches! Edita might look like a shopgirl from Magdeburg playing dress up in an outfit Diana Ross discarded circa 1985 but she can sing and the song is lovely. I can't wait for my copy to arrive from Germany!5/5 The Prophet: Not only did Mike purposely ignored ALL my pop panel suggestions this week, but rather than use one of my epic submissions he stuck this German BITCH up instead to SPITE me because he knows I hate Germans, Germany and Mike's German heritage. This bitch is floppier than my 8 inch dildo Alejandro. ZERO! 0/5 Total: 12/30
Mariah & Patricia Carey – O Come All Ye Faithful (Video)
Mimi teams up with her mum on this Christmas carol!
D'Luv: I guess now we know where Mimi got her pipes from. And her penchant for fucking for tracks. This is so Mariah-style over the top it's getting a perfect score. 5/5 Diva Incarnate: Mariah still shrieks those tender high notes like someone's fish-hooked her vagina. Hard to tell if she is leaving a voicemail to Kanye or actually singing come-ye. Does she sing this to her 12 year old husband when he has nightmares? 2/5 Enric: Mariah (who is actually 46 months pregnant, judging by her full size) and her Opera singer-wannabe mum Patricia turn Christmas into a nightmare full of fear, screams, high notes and broken glasses. Pay special attention to the 2:03 mark and try to survive it. 2/5 Erika Jayne: Xmas is one of my favorite holidays. Mariah is the ultimate Xmas carol diva. 3/5 Mike: I feel like I've just spent 3 and a half minutes in Mimi's high kitsch rainbow coloured world where all pets wear Santa costumes and 9 inch heels are normal footwear for heavily pregnant women. It's as warm and personal as it is ridiculous and cringe-worthy. Which perfectly sums up Christmas, doesn't it? 5/5 The Prophet: I love Mariah and "I Still Believe" is one of my all time favorite songs, but nobody gives a fuck about this Christmas album or seeing her sing a duet with Mother Mimi. For this Holiday season I'm on team Auntie Susie (The Gift!) and Jessica Simpson's stunning Mariah knock-off "My Only Wish" from her festive opus "Happy Christmas" which peaked at a dizzying #123 on the Billboard Charts. 0/5 Total: 17/30
Kylie's latest adventure is a duet with UK pop sensation Taio Cruz.
D'Luv: I hate to say it, but Kylie seems a little desperate doing this. It sounds like some anonymous dance track any studio singer from Germany could have lent vocals to, and if the 'Aphrodite' campaign needs this type of stunt to remind people that Kylie's got an album out, best just to move on. 2/5 Diva Incarnate: The most natural Kylie has looked since chilbirth. The only thing getting higher is her right eyebrow. Taio probably thought she was Lulu anyway. 3/5 Enric: Maybe I dreamed it, but I think this was meant to be on Aphrodite. Let’s hope it’s on the re-release (by the way, I wish it’s called Hermaphrodite) because it’s awesome. This is my favourite Kylie era ever. 5/5 Erika Jayne: I’ve always been a fan of Kylie – how could you not?! 3/5 Mike: I love it. Taio is on fire and this is as close to current Dannii's withered up sister has come to sounding... since "Get Outta My Way"! A shame then that Kylie is still wasting her time promoting the mega flop "Better Than Today" and a Christmas EP that no one wants when she could have a hit on her hands with this gem. 5/5 The Prophet: This gets three points for Kylie, but minus two points for Taio, leaving us with ONE. 1/5 Total: 19/30
Dyan Tai – Why Sydney? (Above)
Introducing the winner of Sydneyvision 2010 - a suburb vs suburb Australian take on Eurovision!
D'Luv: Thank God — new masturbation material. 4/5 Diva Incarnate: Sounds like a forgotten wigfield remix with that bassline. Since I love Asian lesbians I give it a 5. Enric: I love the instrumental, sounds simple but dancey. But his voice and his extra-feminine acting, added to the cheap video and the worst clothes selection ever, makes me feel confused. I want to like it, but I can’t. 1/5 Erika Jayne: I saw his video, and love his artistic-ness with his make-up. 2/5 Mike: Fuck off, Altiyan. Australia's next music god is already here! 5/5 The Prophet: Defining! Australia's answer to Far East Movement has arrived! Dyan looks like one of those asian Twinks you see tweaking on level 1 at the Midnight Shift. 4.5/5 Total: 21.5/30
US dance diva has an Australian hit on her hands with this sleazy tune.
D'Luv: I feel like this song has been out for at least a year, right? And didn't it have a completely different video at one point? This one's much better. Wynter's a trooper, and so I'll give her 3.5/5. Diva Incarnate: Lukewarm trance. Not so much lyrics as reading aloud Dannii's dressing room demands. 3/5 Enric: Keri Hilson’s cheap version is still trying to top any chart. I adore one of her first songs, "Surveillance", and maybe you loved it too in 2007. "Dirty Talk" is not better, but is one of 2010 most finest tracks. 5/5 Erika Jayne: I really like this song – I can relate to the sexy lyrics. I love a dirty conversation. 4/5 Mike: My love for this gorgeous creature knows no bounds. I hope this is huge for her. She deserves it, Wyn has been on the grind since 04! 5/5 The Prophet: I've been a Wynter fan since the "Surveillance" days, but now all of a sudden that she's this new club Queen every fickle flop out there is on her clit. Wynter is MY thing and I was playing this song since the second it leaked so stay mad. 4/5 Total: 24.5/30
D'Luv: I lived for The Cure when I was 13 and 14. Nice to hear that Robert Smith still has teenage boy voice all these years later, now that I'm 19. Alright, joking aside, I'm 22 and this song is a winner. 5/5 Diva Incarnate: When the pop is stark and hooky I usually cream my pants but candidly shit emo vocals rub me with more irritation than Michelle McManus's thighs. The fizzy synthesizers save it. 3/5 Enric: I know them because they messed up their performance last year in Barcelona, throwing vodka and drums to the audience. I love the ravey chorus and it’s always great to hear Robert Smith’s vocals. 4/5 Erika Jayne: I grew up listening to The Cure. I love Robert Smith! His voice is one of a kind. 4/5 Mike: A great cover a forgotten 80s gem. Sad, beautiful and haunting. 5/5 The Prophet: Finally some good music graces the FLOP panel. 5/5 Total: 26/30
A couple of weeks ago I posted a preview of Wynter Gordon's new but not really improved "Dirty Talk" video. Well, the clip debuted in full earlier this week (below) and it's better than I expected. Wynter looks beautiful and it's definitely slick and stylish. I just think the trashy naughty school girl original was more fun and better suited to the song. But who really cares? I'm just excited "Dirty Talk" is taking off in Australia. The dance anthem is already a top 5 ARIA club hit, was the 10th most added song to Australian radio last week and is steadily climbing iTunes. As of last night it was firmly lodged in the top 100 and looks set to keep on rising. Even more exciting is news that Wynter is flying down to bless us with her fabulousness. America's hottest dance diva will before the following shows in December:
3 Dec Gold Coast East 88 4 Dec Melbourne Stereosonic 5 Dec Brisbane Stereosonic 5 Dec Brisbane The Family 9 Dec Melbourne Pool Room 11 Dec Adelaide HQ
Sydney fans don't get stressed just yet. I'm told Wynter is still negotiating a Sydney show. Can't wait to see her strut her stuff! I guess hope she sings "Wonderland". That's my jam!
Here's a preview of Wynter Gordon's new "Dirty Talk" video. I mentioned in yesterday's post that the clip was being re-shot for Australia (among other international markets) and the diva hasn't wasted any time. It's hard to tell from one minute of footage but I prefer the trashtastic, slutty school girl themed original. This is too minimal for my taste and I think the editing is a bit off. Hopefully, it's just a rough cut. When you have a song this fun and a woman this pretty - why would you just have her dance in the dark like a robot? Leave that shit for fugly bitches like Robyn.
Wynter Gordon is name you need to remember. Over the past couple of years the talented diva has written songs for the likes of J Lo and David Guetta, made Flo Rida's "Sugar" bearable, covered a Donna Summer classic and is currently setting dancefloors on fire with "Believer" - a close runner up in last week's Pop Panel! Her latest move is signing a record deal with Australia's hottest dance label. Neon Records is the force behind Zoë Badwi's top 10 hit "Freefallin'" and they pretty much have a lock on the ARIA club chart. The label clearly saw hit potential in Wynter's #103 US smash "Dirty Talk" and their faith is already paying off. The sexy anthem is a top 5 club smash and looks set to be one of the songs of the summer thanks to a bunch of hot new remixes. Make sure you check out Denzal Park's hot mix (below). I love it! A new video has also been commissioned and "Dirty Talk" is set for a commercial release on the 19th of November. I'm told an album will follow in 2011. Best of all, Wynter is heading our way for a promotional tour in December. I can't wait to see her strut her stuff!
Due to popular demand Pop Panel is back for another season of hot tunes, future hits and bottom of the barrel trash! It's always fun but this week is extra special to me because of our amazing celebrity judge. But more about her later. I'm the first to admit that tonight's selection is a bit different. When I was picking songs for the Panel, I tried to go with less obvious choices. So prepare yourself for new material from superstars like Starshell, Jessica Sutta and Die Antwoord! The winner was still a major shock but I'm not complaining. I love the song and really hope it takes off. Ok, let's get started. Tonight's Panel consists of:
J-Step (Aus) has been on the Panel before. He's a big wig in the local music industry and a true connoisseur of fine pop music. It's always great to have him on board.
and
Tony Tornado (Spain) is most famous for his live renditions of "Los Amores" on the streets of Chueca but he also writes a blog and is a scene DJ. Most importantly, he puts a roof over my head when I visit Madrid. I miss you!
And now for our celebrity guest! I don't think Luciana needs an introduction. She is my favourite dance diva and one of the most underrated talents in pop music. Happily that's starting to change thanks to her mega hit "I Like That" - currently #12 on the US Club chart - and growing list of songwriting credits. She's also experiencing a huge amount of success with her alter ego Isha Coco, who recently topped the club chart with "Figure It Out". In between all of that she somehow found the time to rate some songs for Pop Panel. I'm so excited and honoured! I've been a fan of this woman since the mid-90s. When I was still... in my mother's uterus. *cough*. Now I just need to rope in the services of Kaci and Soraya and I can retire a happy man! Before we get on with it, I took the opportunity to ask Luci a couple of quick questions. Here's what she had to say:
Are the rumours about Isha Coco being a high class Russian hooker true? Yes, all true. She's a pro darlink!!! How's the EP coming along? Do you have a second single sorted? Yes. The fairy dust is just being sprinkled on the track and ve vait for dat and den explosion into charts (said in Russian accent). How is Sarah Harding's opus coming along? It's hard because Sarah Harding is in London and we are in LA. We'll write with her again soon. She's fabulous. We love Sarah. You had to cancel recent gigs in QLD and Newcastle at the last minute. What happened? I was totally gutted about this. I felt I let everyone down but it was really out of my hands as it was a visa situation. Next time I come I'll make it up to you! Promise! Am I your favourite Australian? By far... don't tell anyone!
As usual the results are ranked from lowest to highest:
The Canadian duo's latest video was banned from YouTube for depicting some harmless outdoor masturbation.
D'Luv: No. 0/5 J-Step: Who knew elevator music could get so hot? Rufus Wainwright should so abandon the eye as his gig backdrop next tour (yes, Mike, so you can stop whinging about it) and use this! Maybe then it will have some use! 0.5/5 Luciana: Kinda liked this vibe. As a pop song not great but as music to chill out to... nice. 2/5 Mike: I would definitely masturbate to this in a back alley. 3/5 Robpop: Sounds like that french song. I like it. Needs more lube. 3/5 Tony: The all Gainsbourg/Birkin stuff is so passé... I think it could be a great song to have straight sex. Not for me though. 1/5 The Prophet: That whispering is very offputting and not very becoming at all. 1/5 Total: 10.5/35
D'Luv: There's already a Ke$ha, baby. She shoulda just covered Willa Ford. 0/5 J-Step: The song's shit, but any ol' flap walker who makes Nicole Scherzinger look like a redundant piece of rotting offal is a winner in my eyes! Ahh, bless! 2/5 Luciana: Not really feeling this track as much. It's a bit try hard... sorry! Outfits were great though and she's very pretty. 2/5 Mike: Congrats, Jessica. You achieved your goal and then some. 0/5 Robpop: This is terrible. 0/5 The Prophet: YASSSSSSSSSSS! Kimberly was always my favorite Doll, but now she has some stiff competition. This is INCREDIBLE! 5/5 Tony: So cheesy. As my husband says: "Don't they all sound the same to you?" Next, bitch. 2/5Total: 11/35
South Africa's leading hip hop trio sing about cock.
D'Luv: Jesus. 0/5 J-Step: I see Robyn's gone all undercover and found a way to become "relevant" again. Go, bitch, go!!! 2/5 Luciana: Ok, so I get the humour... but not quite sure what to actually say. Maybe it's best I say nothing. 0/5 Mike: Kind of like the Black Eyed Peas on really bad acid. I hate that I love it. 4/5 Robpop: All mouth and no trousers. He says he's a big boy but doesn't have the balls to show us. Lame. Great conceptual video though. I'll give it a point for copying the hell out of HR Giger. 1/5 The Prophet: My wig has just been snatched. 5/5 Tony: I don't get it, sorry. Is it English and Afrikaans? Too much even for me. And where are the cocks they're talking about? 0/5 Total: 12/35
D'Luv: I wanted to like this whole project so much more than I do. "All For You" is actually one of the better songs on this forgettable album. Adding new broads to the mix pretty much ensured this would be a non-event. Oh, well. It doesn't suck, but it's not great. 2/5 J-Step: Yeah, yeah. There's no Lynn or Jenny but nevertheless this is still almost heavenly. This may very well be the song that is blaring on the ride up to that place! 5/5 Luciana: I'm on the fence about this one. I think they'll love it in Europe but not my bag. A bit blah for me but I'm sure it'll do very well. 3/5 Mike: It's certainly no "Lucky Love" but it could be a lot worse. As Jessica Sutta just proved. 2/5 Robpop: Ace of Lame. I do love Ace Of Base and the album is very adorable but this sounds like every boring bit of every good song they've ever done. Moreover, Lucky Twice did this sort of stuff on Catchy Tunes years ago and a lot better too. 2/5 The Prophet: What the hell happened to the old Ace of Base? Who are these women in bikinis? 1/5 Tony: Classic AoB. The song is catchy, and it will surely be a success between new generations because they will remind them of Lady Gaga's "Alejandro". The new vocalists have the same voice as the previous ones but with a sexier (and younger) body. 3/5 Total: 18/35
Starshell – SuperLuva (Above)
Mary J Blige's protégée releases debut single.
D'Luv: Like how the video pays homage to Weird Science. Song pretty much sucks John Hughes' dead balls, though. 1/5 J-Step: I think Lolene, Kelis and La Toya Jackson have just proven that human fusion is indeed possible. Hey, the three of them can't seem to make the slightest ripple on the music scene at the moment, I'm thinking a Nobel Prize for scientific advancement may just be the delicious consolation to keep them from locating the nearest dagger and going all Shakespeare on our asses! 1.5/5 Luciana: She looks cute. Like a 2011 Whitney Houston. I like it. 3/5 Mike: Did someone really just take La Toya's name in vain? Rude. As for Starshell, I'm glad she sold out and jumped on the dance-pop bandwagon. This song is cute and I love the video. Who cares if she has no integrity or originality? 4/5 Robpop: There is a Eurovision feel to this. In many ways, I was hoping the Ace Of Base comeback song to be more like this. It seriously sounds like that opus to pop music from Germany, "Life Is Life". Amazing. I love it. 5/5 The Prophet: I want to hate on this because Starshell was formerly known as LeNeah - a wannabe Mary J. Blige singing hip-hop/soul. Then when nobody cared, she gave herself the ridiculous title of 'Starshell', turned into a dance diva and used an old Lady BlaBla B-side for her first single. Anyway, as I said, I want to hate her, but I just can't! "Superluva" is amazing and just shows that Fernando Garibay is one of the most underrated pop producers in the business. 4/5 Tony: "With my tattoos I love you" ???? Seriously???? This portuguese slut should go back to her favela where she belongs. This is definitely not my idea of a SuperLuva... Total: 18.5/35
D'Luv: Why doesn't anyone in this video have eyebrows? This hookstress looks like that giant fluke worm guy in that really awesome episode of 'The X-Files' from the first season. 2/5 J-Step: Boobies, bums and faux peacocks, does it get much better? Yeah, probably but I was still thoroughly entertained! 3/5 Luciana: I love this! I want her/him to be my mother. She's got a touch of the Jackie Stallones. 4/5 and an extra point for the outfit so 5/5. Mike: I love that Alaska looks like an extra from Dawn Of The Dead but still has the confidence to rock a fleshtone bodysuit. This is how I see Kylie spending her golden years - recycling 80s pop songs while wearing enough sequins and feathers to blind a drag queen. Perfection! 5/5 Robpop: Fangoria as a showgirl!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!! What a change. God, I love this group. 5/5 The Prophet: Everything about this is very fierce but her masculine vocal honestly makes me a tad nauseous. It reminds me of a German person's voice, and you all know how uncomfortable Germans make me. 3/5 Tony: When something works, no need to do a rework. Classic pop tune from the 80s from Alaska's former band (Dinarama). It was a huge success in Spain. Now they sound just like a village fair. On a rainy day. It will be top 3 for sure. Nostalgia factor always works when you have to pay the bills... and the video is so cheap and ridiculous that they went to Argentina to shoot it. This compilation is for third world fans. 0/5 Total: 23/35
Wynter teams up with the Freemasons on this club smash.
D'Luv: Poor Wynter. They spent all the cash on the song's production and none on her video or her wardrobe of glow-in-the-dark thongs. Song is okay. Sounds like a Sophie Ellis Bextor B-side, but she sasses it up a bit. 2.5/5 J-Step: Beyonce wants her bangs back because Tammin wants to make a comeback,Gaga wants her stage shoulders back because Elton John's been pissing her off about the overdue loan and I personally just want to kick her in the shins because she spells Wynter with a 'y'. This has a shelf life of 4 weeks tops. 2.5/5 Luciana: Anything the Freemasons do is always a floorfiller and this is no exception. I would definitely dance to this. 4/5 Mike: While I prefer the filthy pop explosion that is "Dirty Talk", Wynter can do no wrong in my book and jazzes up a rather generic Freemasons backing track no end with her fabulous voice and glamorous wig collection. 4/5 Robpop: Major minus points for those stupid shoulder pads. This could be sung by anyone. Not totally enamored by this. Give me jazz hands. Give me distinctiveness. Give me uniqueness. Give me a flavour of individuality. 1/5 The Prophet: Stunning, flawless, incredible, divine. Wynter is the new Goddess of the dance floor! 5/5 Tony: I think Wynter Gordon will be the next club diva (with the permission of Sophie Ellis Bextor and Rebeka Brown). She has the voice and the attitude. Anyway, if Freemasons are able to make something quite decent out of Shakira's "Loca" it's because they are the best. Fact. 5/5 Total: 24/35
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
Emma Dean – Sincerely Fearful (Below)
Emma is Australia's queen of "alternative cabaret"!
D'Luv: Shit — my 59-year-old aunt is a pop star in Australia? This is some super hot trash. 5/5 J-Step: I'm sincerely fearful of when this bitch looks in the mirror for the first time. Who knows what's going to happen... stay tuned! I smell a killer follow-up! 2.5/5 Luciana: Loved her lyrics and attitude and humour. Loved the energy. 4/5 Mike: An Australian indie pop queen releases what is essentially a demented show tune that sounds like it was stolen from score of Wicked. I think hell just froze over. 5/5 Robpop: I WANT THIS ALBUM NOW!!!!! This is what I am looking for. Great lyrics. Dripping like a hot kebab with character, laughter and brilliance. This is amazing. Mike, send me all her details immediately. I want this broad's album... like, yesterday! 5/5 The Prophet: AHAHAHA! ALTERNATIVE CABARET! AMAZING! AAAAAHHAAAAAA! 4.5/5 Tony: At least something fresh and different!!! Not a bad song but it will be hard for me listening to the whole album. For Scissor Sisters and RHPS fans. 4/5 Total: 30/35
Seriously, Ms Kelly. What the fuck? I have worshipped your flawless music since the birth of Destiny's Child. My loyalty has never wavered - not even when you looked like a man with that short hair in the late 90s. But two recycled videos in as many weeks is beyond lazy. A couple of days ago, I wrote a post about the overwhelming similarities between "Lay It On Me" and Livvi Franc's "Now I'm That Bitch". The Rowl Dogs barked that Kelendria wasn't to blame. That Sarah Chatfield directed both videos and duped the hapless R&B legend. So what's their excuse this time?
